Many years ago, I was sitting with a number of top executives in a business meeting. We were discussing the possibilities of getting more customers. The thought came to me that we should call Jim, a certain competitor, and ask him if he would send us some of his extra business. The thought seemed so ridiculous that I didn’t even voice it. What? Ask a competitor for business? It was too far-fetched to consider.

A week later at a trade meeting, I bumped into Jim. We talked for a little while about our various businesses and then I did a strange thing. I asked him if he had any extra business that he couldn’t handle at the present time. I told him that we had some excess capacity at the plant and would be willing to help him out.

Jim looked at me and smiled. “I wish you had asked me that last week,” he said. “You see, John, we recently acquired two new, large accounts but we didn’t want to lose some of our smaller accounts. We are working over capacity right now. We wanted to give some of the excess work to another company that had the capability of handling them.”

Jim shook his head and continued. “I thought of calling you folks to ask whether you wanted some extra business. Before I could make the call, I got sidetracked with other things and forgot about it for a day or two. Then, a few days ago, Marty from XYZ Corporation called and asked if we had any contracts that they could help us out with. I was only too happy to agree. I wish you had asked me sooner.”

Yes, I, too, wished I had just ASKED. For many reasons we are reluctant to ask for what we want. The feelings are complex as to why we hesitate to ask for help when we need it most. I, too, have faced situations where I’d rather walk a thousand miles than ask for help. Perhaps, it is human nature, but I really don’t know.

I do know, however, that many times the difference between success and failure is the simple act of asking. And who do we ask? And how? This is where the secret lies. An old man once said to me, “Go to God first, and then to man as God directs.” The first place to turn to is the Invisible Force that pervades the universe. Some call this Force God. Others call it “All That Is” or Jehovah or many other different names.

We ask in the quiet of our hearts. If we listen carefully, we are led to ask the right person. And if we do this with a confident heart, believing that we deserve the support of the universe, we’d be amazed at the results. With strange turns and with mysterious means we’re led to the answer we seek.

Learn to ask for help. Ask in the silence of your soul first, and then ask the person you feel led to. That person could be a friend, a family member, a minister, a counselor or a business associate. Sometimes help comes from strange places. In addition to writing articles, newsletters and books, lecturing and conducting seminars, I am also an intuitive consultant. It never ceases to amaze me how many people call me for a consultation, guidance and insigt and say that they were led to call me through something they saw on my websites, the suggestion of a friend, a book they read or even a dream.

Our world seems to be moving at a faster pace than ever before. Changes seem to come upon us with lightning speed. But that is one of the laws of the universe. Change will always come into our lives. It’s how we deal with it that’s important. If we meet change with confidence and trust, we’ll find the strength, courage and support to adapt, adjust and welcome change. Hope does shine all around.

There are times when events seem to catch up with us and we find ourselves at the end of our rope. Worse, there appears to be nowhere to turn, no help available, no rest for the weary. Do not be deceived by what appears to be. There is an ancient saying, “Ask and ye shall receive.”

Whatever the times seem to be, whatever problems we face, whatever difficulties we imagine in our minds, let us remember that there is always a way out. Let us remember that we are children of the universe with all the gifts of the universe at our disposal. Let us ask the universe for what we need and we’ll be guided to someone who will be the answer to our problem. Just don’t sit there — ASK!

I was in the middle of lunch when the email came through.

Julie had some news she was absolutely bursting to share.

She’d just had one of those moments of excitement where everything made sense and she wanted to share it.

‘You know Neil,’ she said, ‘I thought you were joking. Here I was in debt, trying to work around kids, and to be honest struggling because I felt like a hypocrite – I mean, whose going to come to a stressed holistic therapist for relaxation!’

It was a few minutes later, as I returned to my salad, that I actually got the power my work had on her.

Because later in that email she said, ‘Suddenly things you told me about clicked into place – about time you’re probably thinking! I mean it is a few weeks since we last spoke!’

Julie went on, ‘When I got things straight in my head, I began to do things differently and suddenly the debts are reducing, the kids are playing nicely and five new clients have found me.’

Julie agreed that I could share her personal story with you, because she felt – and I agree with her – that maybe you or some people you know will find inspiration from it.

Personally, I’m always moved by people overcoming the odds whether that’s: how a woman from Rwanda escaped, learned English and wrote a book that told her story; or an ordinary woman from the Midlands mastered some fundamentals.

You see, a lot of people relate to Julie: an “ordinary” mum of two while struggling to balance the kids, self-emplyment and cash flow.

But she changed it all around.

With Julie we’re talking big picture, life changes. But last night I had to practice what I preach to improve my own state of mind. Because to be honest, at 7.30pm it wasn’t looking good.

You see, I’d had a busy day of meetings and when I got home I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was tired and I’m sorry to say, I was a bit grumpy. The TV was on and it would have been easy to just accept it’s programming and sleep with my eyes open for a few hours.

But I thought to myself, ‘No, I am really alive and my brain does work and there must therefore be something better than this to do.’

So I sat back and had a fantasy about what would be better than staring at the TV. I played out the fantasies in my mind and began to feel more energized and happier. I then did some gentle exercise and took a bath.

Come 9pm, having spent almost 90 minutes caring and nurturing me, I had a buzz again (which I doubt TV would have given me – unless I put my fingers in the back of it! 😉 .

With Julie it was more of a ‘holistic-overhaul’ than a one day choice.

What I worked on her with Julie was her goals, then we worked on her awareness of what was in the way of their achievement.

Julie is just one example of a process that works like a dream.

With love and good wishes
Neil

One of the best ways to gain clarity about your life is by journaling your thoughts and feelings. Especially if you’re feeling conflicted or confused about certain situations, writing your thoughts out can be incredibly enlightening!

You don’t have to be a “writer” to journal effectively. In fact, your writing skills don’t have to be good at all. Just the act of putting your thoughts into logical order and translating them to written form can help you to understand what you’re feeling, and why.

Here are some tips to help you use journaling for personal growth:

1) Keep it simple. You don’t need to spend a lot of money on a fancy journal. In fact, unless you’re an experienced journaler, I recommend using an inexpensive, lined notebook. Then you won’t feel so much pressure to be “perfect” in what you write. You won’t be afraid to scribble and scrawl whatever happens to flow onto the paper.

2) Don’t hold back. When you journal for the purposes of personal growth, don’t try to edit yourself, or make your writing understandable to anyone else. The most freeing technique is to put your pen to paper and just write whatever comes to mind. No one else will see it unless you want them to, so let ‘er rip!

3) Focus on the feelings. If you find yourself stumped about what to write in your journal, begin with the phrase, “I feel…”. This will usually get your thoughts and feelings flowing, and you will be better able to express them in writing.

4) Guided journaling. Another helpful technique is guided journaling, which means providing a prompt for yourself. Especially if you’re struggling with something specific, you can more easily get the words flowing with a nudge in the right direction. Some example prompts would be, “Describe your perfect career and the reasons it would fulfill you.” Or, “Think about the most painful experience in your past and write about the ways it has affected who you are today.”

5) Review your entries periodically. Going back to look at your journal entries can be very illuminating and provide amazing clarity about yourself. With time and practice, you will likely begin to see patterns in your thinking, behaviors, and beliefs. The most important thing is to keep an objective mindset while you look at your entries. Don’t judge or belittle yourself. Keep the focus on personal growth and development. Instead of beating yourself up or cringing over your latest rant, ask yourself, “How can I use this knowledge to improve my circumstances now?”

If you’re not a natural writer, journaling may seem like a lot of effort at first. But it is so worth it! Because I am a writer, journaling is something I’ve always done. As a child, I kept written diaries that focused more on my day to day experiences. “Dear Diary, today a cute boy smiled at me and I melted!” In my twenties, I decided I wanted to understand myself better, so I began keeping written journals with a focus on self-discovery. That practice has paid off in amazing ways over the past decade or so.

You can also keep journals for other reasons besides personal growth. For example, you can begin a gratitude journal to jot down a few things you are thankful for each day, which will help you to feel more positive about your life. You can keep a spiritual growth journal to record prayers and meditations that were effective for you. You can keep a dream journal to learn more about the messages your dreams hold. The possibilities are endless!

If you really don’t like writing with pen and paper, you can also keep an online journal in the form of a blog. There are many providers that offer free membership accounts, with easy-to-use interfaces. Two popular choices are http://Blogger.com and http://LiveJournal.com. However, if you keep an online journal, you might want to make it private so no one else can view it. It’s amazing what search engines can find nowadays, and you don’t want your neighbor or employer coming across your private thoughts. Most blog hosts allow an option to keep your blog non-viewable to the public. Or you can simply stay anonymous with your blog, but allow others to read it. Use a pseudonym and don’t give any identifiable information about yourself.

Finally, don’t feel that you have to follow any set rules with your journaling. Do what works best for you, and enjoy the journey! 🙂