Everybody suffers from anxiety at some point or anther. Anxiety is just a normal part of everyday life. It can actually be a useful emotion in helping us to cope with stressful situations. Other times, anxiety can be out of control and interfere with our ability to function normally in stressful situations even if the stress is just manufactured in our minds.

There will always be reasons to feel anxious. All ages experience anxiety. Children feel it in school before a test; even young babies feel it when separated from their mothers. Adults have plenty of opportunities to feel anxious whether it is from a job, finances, romance, or due to being self conscious.

Sometimes anxiety comes about because people have to do something they fear doing. One of the most common anxiety producing experiences is when it comes to public speaking. Many people fear being in front of the public, either as a speaker or just as someone being singled out or noticed in a crowd.

Do you have a fear of speaking in public or performing on a stage? If so, you could be suffering from a type of performance anxiety. Do you have any of the following apply to you? If so, you may have performance anxiety.

-Worry about looking foolish in front of other people and being laughed at?

-Worry that people can see how nervous you are?

-Suffer from stage fright if you have to speak in front of others or perform onstage.

-Experience anxiety in advance of the event simply from anticipating your fears.

-Feel immediate and intense fear upon learning you need to perform in public.

-Attempt to get out of public performances or not show up if you can’t get out of it.

-Missed out on opportunities because of your fear of being in the public spotlight.

Performance anxiety is actually all in the mind of the sufferer. After all, not everyone fears going on stage, there is no danger in doing so. The fear comes from imagined dangers such as feeling like you are not smart enough or good enough to avoid ridicule. So the way to overcome your performance anxiety is to change your way of thinking.

There are four steps involved in overcoming performance anxiety. Let’s take a look at them below.

Step one: Self Assessment

-Get to know yourself, both as a person and as a performer.

-Identify the problem thoughts that are holding you back and creating anxiety.

Step two: Exposure and Preparation

-Find opportunities for limited performance exposure but not to the point your anxiety kicks in.

-Practice your speech or performance. Tape it and watch yourself. Practice until you have it down pat. Always be totally prepared before giving your performance so you feel confident.

-Learn relaxation techniques and practice them right before your performance.

Step three: The Performance

-Visualize the audience as friends and family that wish you well.

-Don’t think of yourself. Think of the audience.

-Stay calm and enjoy yourself.

Step four: After the Performance

-Don’t criticize yourself no matter what happens.

-Congratulate yourself for doing your best.

-Reward yourself for making progress

Train yourself to change your thoughts and instead of worrying about what people will think, just go ahead and imagine they are thinking good things about you. Imagine yourself as self confident and thoroughly capable of completing the performance. As you change your thinking, you will see your performance anxiety start to slip away.

Most of us are filled with fear of one kind or another: fear of change, fear of success, or fear of failure. We fear making mistakes, being alone, ending relationships or starting new ones. Many individuals fear aging, rejection, abandonment, and unemployment. Fear can keep us stuck in our lives! It can keep us from ending unhealthy relationships or from leaving a work situation that is no longer satisfying. In fact, it can keep us from reaching our goals and realizing our dreams! When we are helped to move beyond our fears, we can lead lives that are both challenging and fulfilling.

It is normal for all of us to feel fear in new situations, especially when we are venturing into unknown territory. Therefore the question is, if we all feel fear when entering into the unknown, why is it that some people are able to move forward in their lives, in spite of their fear, while other individuals become paralyzed? The real issue then, is not the fear itself, but how we hold our fear. If we hold our fear from a place of power or choice, we can take action, in spite of our fear. If we hold our fear from a place of pain or powerlessness, we become stuck or paralyzed.

Susan Jeffers, in her book Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway, divides fears into two categories: 1) Fear of things that can happen to us, and 2) Fear around taking action. She states that at the bottom of all our fears is the basic fear, “I can’t handle it”. If I lose my job, I wont be able to handle it. If my boyfriend leaves me, I won’t be able to handle it. If I go back to school, what if I can’t handle it? What if we believed that whatever happened to us, or whatever we did, we would be able to handle it? What would there be left to fear?

Therapy can help individuals to face their fears and come out on the other side of them. It can help empower clients by teaching them to stop playing the “when / then” games. “When I stop being afraid, then I’ll do it.” Or, “When I feel better about myself, then I’ll do it”. In fact, it is only in going out and actually doing what we are afraid of, that we overcome our fear, and as a result, feel better about ourselves in the process! Psychotherapy can provide the encouragement and support that individuals need to overcome their fears and to transform their lives.

Fear of public speaking is a very common form of social anxiety. Fear of public speaking has often been called the ‘Greatest Anxiety,’ due to the large number of people who actually experience this fear. Fear of public speaking doesn’t just mean that you have a fear of making a speech in public. It can mean that you experience stage fright, or even that you have a fear of talking to other people in a social situation.

Fear of public speaking often holds people back from many things that they want in their lives. It may be job promotions, or fund raisers for causes that they believe in, but the fear of public speaking will, at some point, stand between you and what you want or need.

Symptoms of fear of public speaking include shortness of breath, inability to speak, a shaky voice, shallow breathing, rapid heartbeat, sweating, nausea, dizziness, or lightheadedness. There are many things that can cause fear of public speaking. Social anxiety can cause a fear of public speaking. It may also be caused by an earlier traumatic public speaking experience. There is no one answer as to why some people experience fear of public speaking, but for those who experience it, the fear is quite real – but it can be dealt with.

There are many tricks a person can use to get past their fear of public speaking. The first trick is to know exactly what you are going to say, but not to worry about memorizing every word of your speech. Use note cards, and write down your key points – in sentences that make sense. This way, if you freeze up and forget what you were going to say, you can refer to your notes, and pick up where you left off. Use big print on the note cards, and if possible, keep up with where you are on the cards during your speech, so it will be easy to find your place if you need to.

Once you’ve prepared and practiced your speech, stop. Put it away, and don’t think about it again, until you are on the stage, ready to deliver the speech. Often people over practice, and this just causes the fear to grow and grow. Remember it is okay to mess up when you are giving a speech. Simply laugh at yourself, the audience will laugh with you – not at you – and you can continue your speech. In fact, most people are much more relaxed after they’ve made that first mistake in the speech and laugh about it. They know, at that point, that they are going to be okay.

Speeches do not need to last for hours. You only need three or four main points. Say what needs to be said, accept the applause and say ‘Thank You,’ and go off and enjoy the rest of your day or evening. Another trick that works well is to have someone you know well to look at throughout the speech, and concentrate solely on that person. Give you speech to them, and them alone – even if the room is packed. This means that you bring your spouse along with you, or bring a friend. This must be someone that you are always comfortable talking to.

Many people feel that they must include jokes in their speeches. Unfortunately, many of these people fear that they are not funny, or that their joke will flop, and this causes more anxiety and fear. If you are worried about this, omit the jokes from your speech and be serious. The people are there to hear the information, not the jokes.

If all else fails – picture everyone in their underwear. This is an old standby that really does work. The point of doing this exercise is that it makes everyone in the room seem less intimidating. You don’t even have to picture them in their underwear. Picture them with hair curlers in their hair, or picture the men with facial cream on their faces. There are a variety of ways that you can envision them in your head. Before you start the speech, simply look out over the room, and get that less intimidating mental picture in your head – but don’t laugh outloud!