Why do we lose our love when others are behaving egotistically? What is the danger for us? We might answer that it is natural not to love an egotistical person. But what is our danger here? Are we losing self-worth, security, freedom, control or pleasure? Perhaps we are offended by our own egotism that reflects in the others’ behavior?

If the others were five years old, would we be offended and outraged by their egotistical behavior? Or would we continue to love them, while we explained to them that this behavior is not pleasant and that we would prefer that they not behave in this way? We might even ignore them because they do not know better. Would we feel danger? Then why do we feel danger from an egotistical adult? What danger exists for us from that adult that does not exist from the child?

The answer is probably: No, there is no danger from an egotistical adult. Most probably we lose our love for egotistical persons, because we perceive them as “bad” and because they remind us of our own egotistical aspects.

We could love them even when they are egotistical and cold and uncaring once we realize that this behavior is a result of their fear, pain and inner emptiness. They cannot be happy inside to behaving in this way. They are lonely and not feeling love or unity with those around them.

They need our understanding and love – not our rejection and hate. We need to see them as children in need of love and understanding. We attract from others that which we perceive in them.

We are being asked in this case to connect with the divine consciousness behind the others’ alienated and suffering mind and love them regardless of their behavior. We are being asked to be bigger than our own personality and connect with our soul nature in order to perceive their soul nature and love them as they are.

That does not mean that we do not ask them to become more interested in others and make an effort to care for and respond to others, needs. We can feel comfortable asking this, when we do not reject them but are sincerely seeking to help them feel better.

Loving those who ignore or do not respond to our needs

23. When they ignore my needs.

Why should others respond to or fulfill our needs? Why is this a prerequisite for us to love them? Why is this a prerequisite for us to feel that they love us? Are we always able to fulfill or respond to their needs? When we are unable to fulfill or respond to others needs, or choose not to, is it because we do not love them, or because we are obstructed by our needs, fears, and various inner obstacles?

Perhaps we can let go of this prerequisite for love and choose to love others even when they cannot or choose not to fulfill our needs. This would be a much higher level of love. Love without their satisfying our needs, such as self-worth, security, freedom, and pleasure – love simply for love,s sake.

Loving someone who does not fulfill our needs is a wonderful opportunity to develop selfless love. This is our challenge in this scenario.

We often believe that others do not love us, when they do not respond to our needs. It may be that they do love us but are not able to respond because of their differing needs, values and perceptions or because they are controlled by various attachments and attachments. If we examine ourselves, we will find that we are not able to facilitate all of our loved ones needs, even though we do love them.

Again we have every right to communicate effectively and negotiate for what we need from those persons. But this can be done without the blackmail of withholding love if they do not respond. They are much more likely to respond when they feel that our love is there regardless of what they do.

From the book “Love is The Choice”
by Robert Elias Najemy

If you asked most people to make a list of the things that they dread, many of them would put “going to the dentist” up near the top. Though dentists actually do work that relieves pain and makes a person healthier, they are some of the most feared and loathed workers on the planet. People simply hate everything about going to the dentist. This fear is quite common, though. Because dentist’s offices are probably places where people have had bad experiences in youth, they are locations where we don’t want to go as adults. This deep seated fear goes way back and in order for it to stop, the issues behind the fear must be addressed.

Maybe you broke a tooth as a child and you had a very painful experience at the dentist. Maybe you were like most people who ate too much candy and you suffered many cavities that required painful drilling. Many people hate going to the dentist because they associate the smells and sounds with pain. This is completely normal. As a hypnotherapist, I have seen clients come to me who get a chill up their spine when talking about their fear of going to the dentist. In the end, it is a fear that must be conquered, though. You will eventually have to go to the dentist for some reason and you won’t be able to squirm around in your chair like you did as a child.

Hypnotherapy is not just something you see mocked in the movies. Though it is true that Las Vegas magic shows use hypnosis in some of their tricks, it isn’t simply a magic trick. Hypnosis is a real solution to very real problems. People are often treated for things like smoking, slimming, and stress related issues with hypnotherapy treatment. People who suffer from fear of the dentist can be treated using hypnosis, as well.

If you are a person who just can’t stand that dentist’s chair, then you should read up on hypnotherapy and figure out if it is right for you. A complete change in mindset could be what you need in order to fight your problem. I have seen people make a complete turn around on their fears when they come in for hypnotherapy treatment. It really is a solution that could impact your life positively from this day forward. Grab information on a self-hypnosis kit or read up on hypnotherapy. This will allow you to make permanent changes in your life.

If you’ve been struggling with your excess fat, the prospect of the upcoming holidays may well fill you with dread.

You barely fit in your clothes as is. If things go the way they usually go during the holidays, you may have to join the post-holiday shopping crowds out of necessity! You won’t have a thing to wear – because nothing will fit anymore.

I don’t know about you, but that prospect always makes me cringe. I’ve been there, and I’d rather not repeat it.

Which is why I have occasionally approached the holiday season in a rather contrarian spirit when it comes to my intake of food. And I’m planning to do it again this year.

How’s that? Easy.

There are two major weight loss facts that work in my favor here:

Every pound I lose between Thanksgiving and early January counts twice!

It’s a matter of simple math!

As you know, those of us already struggling with extra weight can easily add 10 pounds or more during a few weeks of reckless ingestion of cookies and eggnog. I’ve done it before, and I don’t care to repeat that particular feat.

Now imagine this: Instead of adding 10 pounds, how would you feel if you were to lose 10 pounds instead. Or even “just” 5 pounds. You’d be way ahead of the game, wouldn’t you.

Sure, it’ll be a bit of a hassle. Maybe even a big hassle. But just for a few weeks. Meanwhile, if you keep the pay-off in mind, it will feel so worth it.

But it wouldn’t be half as good an idea if it weren’t for fat loss secret number two:

Most people’s bodies seem to respond very nicely to alternating high and low calorie intake days.

There are several diets that feature this technique, including renegade versions of traditional ones. Just check out the Wendie Plan, Wendie’s version of Weight Watchers, where she distributes the 35 extra “points” over just 3 to 4 of the 7 days, thereby creating quite some ups and downs.

The weight though will just go down, down, and down some more because that kind of “weight cycling” prevents our bodies from turning into metabolic slugs.

Imagine the potential of this little trick. You could work its magic by simply planning some diet days alternating with some less restrictive days – carefully scheduling the more generous allotments for the days with office parties, family Christmas celebrations, and so on.

That’s exactly what I’m going to do.

Yes, I know! It’s going to be hard with all the seasonal goodies around.

So let’s review the benefits:

If you DO lose weight NOW, it will count DOUBLE!

Instead of gaining 10 pounds, you could LOSE 10 pounds!

Net loss: 20 pounds, maybe even more!

Wouldn’t THAT be worth a little awkwardness around the punch bowl? Imagine being that much slimmer come New Year’s Eve! Imagine the dress you’d be able to wear — the one that hasn’t fit you in ages! Imagine all your friends having piled on the pounds in the meantime, wondering how the heck you managed to actually get thinner!

Go ahead. You deserve to look and feel great! Make that new and improved body your own personal Christmas present.