Social anxiety or social phobia has many varied causes, including biological, psychological and social. However, each one may be intertwined so it is hard to specify exacting ones. Though it is not yet known if social anxiety is caused by a genetic disposition or something learned through family social conditioning, it does appear that it can run in the family.

The first group of causes include environmental and social. It is believed by some social phobia experts that it is possible to learn this from the environment in which you are in. It has been suggested that simply interacting and watching others with similar tendencies can be influential. Also, it is possible that overprotective and controlling parents may develop this in their children and fail to recognize the disorder in them because they too suffer from it and consider it to be perfectly normal. Others think that people may develop social phobias based on a negative childhood event, including bullying, public embarrassment and teasing. Such indicators include disfigurement, abuse (sexual and physical), neglect, speech impediments or conflicts within a family.

The second group of causes of social anxiety is thought to be due to psychological or emotional trauma experienced in childhood. The subsequent symptoms may be the direct result of unresolved traumatic experiences such as car accidents, abuse, relationship breakdowns, humiliation or even a natural disaster. The key elements of that are common amongst all people suffering anxiety as a result of traumas include an event or experience that was not expected, the person was not prepared for, and there was little if anything that the person could have done to have pretended it from occurring. However, such traumas can also run deeper, including a poor bonding between the major caregiver and the person during childhood. The person may well have not learned the skills needed to regulate calmness, self-soothing and focus during stressful events.

The third social anxiety cause is biological in nature, including biochemical reactions, the structure of the brain and the possibility of the disorder having been inherited genetically. In genetical inheritance, most researchers believe that the main part of the disorder is born out of inhibited behavior. Young babies with such a disposition are quick to show stress and fear of unfamiliar situations and people, and as they grow into teenagers and adults, their risk for getting social phobia increases. Also, studies have shown that it may also have something do with the section of your brain that controls fears (amygdale). Through CAT scans, doctors have found that people with this disorder have an excess amount of activity in the amygdale and too little in the prefrontal brain cortex. Biochemically speaking, more studies indicate that an imbalance in the serotonin levels in the brain, dopamine, GABA and neurotransmitters may be to blame.

The most common group that social anxiety disorder sufferers fall into is the second. Each and everyday, many people, young and old, experience traumas, some of which they may well put behind them for many years, or at least they believe, but somewhere inside of them, they have not learned to cope with the resulting trauma, but in fact pushed the emotional side ‘under the carpet’ or so to speak. When this happens it is essential to get medical support and treatment. Such traumas as abuse, rape and other experiences can develop from social anxiety to include even post-traumatic shock disorder, which can attack any person at any time in their lives. It may manifest itself many years later, even after the trauma has since been apparently forgotten.
Though there are many cause of social anxiety phobias, the bottom line is that the result is an unnatural fear of social interaction and a lowered self-esteem that can not only hinder a person’s ability to function in everyday situations, but in some cases hinder the person’s ability to simply live a normal existence outside of their home. Sometimes the disorder is so debilitating that the person cannot even carry on regular daytime activities. If you or anyone you suspect may have this disorder, there is no shame in asking for medical help. This does not have to be a lifelong affliction, nor is it normal because someone else you know is dealing with it by pushing it away. Your family doctor is your best source of relief in this regard.

Depression is a feeling that we get when something bad happens and we are unable to deal with it. Even though depression is now known to have serious effects if it persists for a long length of time, the actual causes of depression are not well defined. There are some theories that suggest a multiple number of reasons, both internal and external factors which can cause depression.

There are other theories about the cause of depression arising from genetics. With this theory the family and their behavior has a predisposition towards depression. There are numerous studies and research that has shown family members who are affected by depression have a genetic makeup that is very different from family members who are unaffected by depression.

It has been noted that changes in the brain structure or even brain functions may be one of the causes of depression. While there is no clear evidence of brain functionality or genetics as being predisposed towards depression, there is ample research data to suggest that this is the case.

Low self esteem and pessimism are thought to be the other causes of depression. With these mood traits a person suffering from low self esteem will regard themselves with feelings of pessimism, worthlessness, a desire to end their life and perhaps even attempts at suicide. In this case the person who suffers from low self esteem and depression will only see the negative aspects of life. These low self esteem and pessimistic feelings maybe some of the causes of depression, as they invoke the response towards depression.

Being overwhelmed by stress can easily lead a person into a state of depression. The many pressures that we face in our lives and the great expectations that are placed on us contribute to this feeling of stress. Therefore as more stress enters our lives depression begins to set in. Low self esteem, pessimism and stress are considered to be psychological causes of depression.

Other causes of depression can include any physical changes that occur to our bodies. Severe medical conditions like Parkinson’s disease, heart attacks, strokes and diabetes can make the individual believe that there is nothing worthwhile living for. This emotional state in many cases causes the person to drop into a depression phase. By feeling depressed the rate of recovery is delayed.

While it is not completely clear what the exact causes of depression are, there is agreement that certain physical, emotional, and genetic traits can lead towards depression. Whatever the actual cause is, the end result is that the individual who is suffering from depression has a very poor quality of life. Therefore until we can define what are the real causes of depression, all that we can do is to help them become better.

The Power of Love

All of us – young or old, poor or rich, salt of the earth or intellectual, battling grave illness or enjoying phenomenal health – all of us want the same things in our lives. We must take care of our survival needs by providing shelter from the elements, food and sustenance for our bodies, and protection from dangers. Because we are social in nature, we need to connect with others in various ways. We need to belong, to be part of something larger than ourselves. Most of all we need love, and the more there is in our lives to enjoy, the better off we are in all ways.

In a very real sense, love is what powers the universe. Love is behind the benevolence of the creator(s) in our stories about where we came from. Love is the one uplifting force that empowers us and allows our consciousness to grow. Our culture recognizes and honors the power of love in thousands of ways, each with endless permutations:

Nothing stands in the way of a mother’s love for her children
Spiritual love is the highest power of all
Because of love, I am made whole
Love me, love my (parrot, car, crooked smile, kids, etc.)
Love makes the world go round.
Can’t buy me love
I’m a fool in love

The Music of Love

Where would Etta James, the Beatles or nearly every country western singer be without love to sing about? The lack of same, the loss, the regaining, the denial, the requited and the unrequited. Indeed, where would music itself be without love? It is love, after all, that stirs the heart to passion and the voice to sing. The Do-Re-Mi of love is equally qualified to express our sweetest feelings to our children as it is to let our mates know in no uncertain terms just how deeply felt our biological imperatives are on Saturday night after the kids have gone to bed. Love is such a complex and ubiquitous subject that our civilization, just as all the thousands before us and the millions more yet to come, our thoughts and feelings are filled with the artifacts of our discussions, songs and images about its various manifestations.

Love is.

And yet, love is not, also. In fact, love, so freely and unself-consciously given and received through all our connections, is the one thing we often lack for ourselves at our core level of being. We often do not love ourselves. How amazing!

The Dance of Love

A lack of self-love is first felt in very similar ways to that ballroom dance class you were forced into as a teenager in which you pretended to actually enjoy a kind of rhythmic spasm that could loosely pass for dancing. The shaky feet, the sweaty palms, the cracking voice. When it comes to self-love, there you are, quivering with your partner on the dance floor, ready to accept death as a suitable alternative to the foxtrot or the waltz.

Despite your best intentions, your two left feet probably goofed you up socially for years, if not forever. You’ve compensated by finding other ways to appease and delight your dance partners. You’ve proven to each of them that they are indeed the objects of your affections and worthy of your most undying love. Just so, you’ve never really come to grips with what it takes to feel your own love of self.

The most glaring way a lack of self-love shows up in someone’s life is in the failure of one’s intentions to manifest in desired ways.

Nothing seems to work. Despite all the books and CDs on self-improvement, all the workshops, all the inner work, all the best intentions – your life is still not where you want it to be. Maybe your job really bites. Perhaps your relations have become stagnant and uninspiring. Maybe you’re just tired of the day-to-day routine that you’ve grown accustomed to over the past twenty years or so.

Where Are You?

Your best intentions seem to have proven to in fact be your most mediocre ones. What happened?

The answer is incredibly simple after all. It’s been staring you in the face like the one that looks back at you every morning in the mirror. The answer is you!

You need to fall in love with yourself! You need to quit shaking and sweating, forget about your quivering voice and your two left feet and begin to glide and swoop like your life depended upon it. Because it does. Your life – at least the one you’ve dreamed about – depends upon your spirit soaring to every greater and greater heights, something it cannot do if you cannot love yourself.

The Feathers of Intention

Intentions are the feathers that allow you to catch life’s thermals. Love buoys them up and makes them defy the earth as they waft ever higher and higher on the currents of your life. Trying to set an intention loose upon even the most gentle breezes, let alone the mighty gales of your at times tumultuous life, without the mastery and awareness that self-love brings, is simply an exercise in futility. Without self-love, your intentions won’t fly. They remain undirected and unmoving, stuck to earth like so much fluff plastered to a rock in a rainstorm.

Fluff yourself up. Dry yourself out. Become as light and airy as the most ethereal down you can imagine. Prepare for takeoff. You are ready to launch your beautiful intentions into the glorious great beyond. You’re cleared for take-off. Have a good flight.

Still here? Ah, yes. There’s that issue of self-love. Let’s take a moment to recap.

What do we know for sure?

We know that love empowers the entire world
We know that self-love empowers us personally
We know that intentions need empowerment to manifest

Self-love Empowers Your Intentions

We must quickly come to the conclusion that given that the above statements are true, the most surefire way (actually, the only way) for us to manifest our intentions is to tune into our love. If, however, our love is only a one-way affair, if we can only effectively give love to others but not to ourselves, no matter how hard we try, we’ll never be able to empower our intentions enough to create the vision we have for our life.

I’ll say it again, because it bears repeating at this point:

The most glaring way a lack of self-love shows up in someone’s life is in the failure of one’s intentions to manifest in desired ways.

We all know how to visualize. We’ve been to all those workshops and read all those books, right? Some of us have accumulated many, many hours meditating and visualizing and praying and intending and sincerely trying to be worthy of having a good life.

It’s all about self-love.

It’s simple, really. Love yourself. Treat yourself at least as well as you would any other lover. Coddle it and cuddle it. Give yourself a big hug! Show your self that you care! Empower yourself and your intentions will start to float about as they were meant to. A beautiful, fluffy life is the life you’re really after, and you can’t get that kind of life being harsh with yourself. Lighten up! Let the feathers of your intentions land where they may.