Do you ever feel stuck? Perhaps you don’t have the job you want, or the relationship, or the financial situation. You probably know what it is that you don’t want, but have you ever taken the time to figure out what it is that you do want?

Rather than answer with generalities like a job that “pays more” or “is closer to home” or “to find your soulmate” or “to be rich”, think about being as specific as possible. What does your ideal life look like? What would you need in you life for it to be more fulfilling and meaningful?

To put it in a slightly different light, if you win the lottery tomorrow and suddenly, you’re a multimillionaire, what will you do with the rest of your life? Will you continue working at your job? Will you spend more time with your family or travel the world? Will you start your own business or spend more time with your hobbies?

Take some time to dream about the possibilities. Then, take out a piece of paper and write down your dream in vivid detail.

Now, take a few moments to write down a list of the things that are most important to you in your life. What gets you out of bed in the morning? What things are most important in your life? These are the things you are willing to devote time and energy to each day. They can be things like:

* Family
* Friends
* Faith/ Spirituality
* Personal growth
* Being healthy
* Being fit and in shape
* Having your finances in order
* Work/life balance
* Maintaining a loving relationship with your significant other
* Being happy at work
* Being organized and using time wisely
* Participating in the hobbies you enjoy
* Making a difference in the world

Setting priorities is important because we often have so much going on in our lives at once that we lose track of who we are and what we want out of life. We end up putting out one fire only to be confronted with yet another that takes its place. With so many things on our plate at once, it’s easy to neglect ourselves, friends and family.

When you are finished writing your list, take a few moments to prioritize them on a scale starting with “1” as the most important.

Finally, take a few moments to think about these questions:

* What am I most passionate about?
* What would inspire me to get out of bed at 5AM on a Saturday morning?
* What haven’t I experienced yet that I’ve always wanted to?
* What haven’t I given yet that I’ve always wanted to?
* What haven’t I learned yet that I’ve always wanted to?
* What part of me haven’t I healed yet that I still need to?
* Am I doing now what I really want to do?
* If not, do I even know what I’d really like to do?
* What can I do to serve others?

Write down the answers in on your paper. These should be your honest answers – not what you should do or that others expect you to do.

Once you’ve done this exercise, combine all your answers into a life’s purpose or mission statement. Your purpose statement will answer the question “Why am I here? What is my true calling in life?” You get to define yours, so what do you want to do with your life?

Go back to your piece of paper and write “My purpose in life is…” Then, just write. Spend some time reflecting on your dreams, priorities, and the questions listed above.

Next, think of the ways you can use your passions and dreams to serve the world. Write down the following statement, “I will make the world a better place by…” and your answers.

Get all of your ideas down on paper. This will probably take you at least 10 minutes – though it could take hours. Write until you feel you have some clarity about your life. Then, go back and read the content. Is it powerful for you? Is it a wake up call? If not, keep writing until you find something that’s profound for you.

When you do define your life’s purpose, it will be an emotional experience. You will look at what you wrote and have one of those mind blowing “why didn’t I think of that before?” revelations. Even if your statements aren’t very impressive to others, what matters is that you find them 100% accurate and relevant – and they have emotional significance to you.

What provides focus and aim for our lives? Goals. Goals are Great because they cause us to expand and grow in ways that we never have before. In order to reach our goals we must become better. We must change and grow.

Why do some people work so hard and yet never find success? Why do some people achieve everything and yet seem to hardly work at all?

Everyone has heard the news – goal-setters succeed! Listen to any successful entrepreneur or professional and they all seem to talk about dreams and goals! Not the ones they think about occasionally or just hope for. But these are goals and dreams that have moved them to action and created passion in their lives. Yes, goals can create miracles and accomplishment.

Success is available to everyone. People who have established long-term goals and have worked hard to accomplish them have decided in their minds what they can do in their lives.

So, what is the secret to setting goals? The mind. Everything you want to happen can, if you just put your mind to it.

Is success a dream that lasts for a few hours, and then… puff, it’s gone? No. Set it in your mind that you will accomplish a specific task and then think about it day and night until you find the means to make it real. We become what we think!

The world is constantly changing around us, accepting change and adapting to it can help us strive for success. You can control your mind but not the world around you. Although we do have some control over how change occurs in our lives through the decisions we make, what about the economy, natural disasters, and death? What we can do is take control by adapting to change, and moving forward.

The path to success is not without difficulties. Do not get discouraged and then not take action! People like to discourage others from taking chances, and most of them are probably not successful. Listen to others but decide for yourself what action to take. Remember that success is accomplished by setting goals and then taking action! Anyone can do nothing, but those who are successful have taken action.

The person who thinks about nothing….. becomes nothing.

What do most successful people have? A mentor. Why? A mentor can challenge you while providing the support you need. They can help you determine where you are and where you want to go.

What should a mentor provide?

They should:

1. Help with decisions by providing a different viewpoint.

2. Provide support and accountability.

3. Minimize your effort by offering advice on how to reach your goals

4. Provide a means for you to express your concerns and ideas while helping to provide solutions that are not so obvious.

How can you begin?

1. Understand fully that we become what we think. We must take control of our thoughts if we want to take control of our lives. This is critical.

2. We need to understand that any limitations that we have are self-imposed and that the opportunities that are available today are available to everyone.

3. Think positively when dealing with problems.

4. Set clearly defined goals. Let your mind dwell on your goals from different angles and it will come up with many possible solutions.

5. We must act decisively when required and when our course is clear. What good are our ideas if we do not act on them?

6. Believe in yourself. Understand that there is nothing to stop you from accomplishing your purpose. Persistence is required for success to be acquired.

Three Barriers to Success

1. Fear. What fear is keeping you from achieving your dreams? Is it a fear of failure? Fear of success? Whenever this fear begins to appear just ask yourself: what’s the worst thing that could happen? Then move forward in confidence knowing that whatever does happen will far outweigh the failure of doing nothing.

2. Not Knowing. Some people use the lack of knowledge as an excuse for not setting goals and becoming successful. Just because you may not know all the details, is no reason to not pursue your dreams. Everyone can make a difference by venturing into the unknown. Set a goal to gain the knowledge that you need to move forward and take control of your life and find success!

3. Negative People. Avoid them! You should associate with others who will encourage you and gets excited with you as you strive to achieve you’re goals and desires. Do you spend more time with goal makers or goal breakers?

Success will take courage and perseverance. Many people start but only successful people finish.

One of the most important decisions you will ever make is to determine what you want. Decide now! Have a goal in mind; work continuously toward your goal and it will one day become reality.

But here’s the catch… You can’t give up!

Copyright 2006 by Joe Rispoli

Kids Know What They Want

When I was a child, it was easy. I’d sit down with a cup of hot cocoa, some cookies, and a sheet of paper to write my letter to Santa. I’d tell him everything I wanted for Christmas. I had no trouble identifying what I wanted. I didn’t worry about whether I thought I could have it, how much it cost, or what other people would think. I knew what I wanted and I asked for it!

Sometime between those childhood years and becoming an adult, I became much less clear. What I wanted got lost in “shoulds,” obligations, other people’s opinions, and my own judgments.

This seems to happen to most of us. We lose touch with what we truly want. And how can we create what we want when we don’t know what that is? If you long for more pleasure, passion, and purpose in your work and life, the clearer you are about what you want, the better.

But what if you don’t know? What if you are unclear, stuck or confused about what you want?

The Santa Claus Question

“If I were Santa Claus and could bring you anything you wanted, what would that be?”

This is one of my favorite questions to help myself and my clients connect with what we truly want.

Here’s an example: I was working with Janet (I’ve changed her name to protect her privacy) and she wanted to create a new information product for her clients. She had been thinking and thinking, yet she wasn’t lit up about the ideas she had. She was stuck.

I requested she take a few moments to play in the field of all possibilities; to set aside all she had been thinking and all that she “knew” about what was and wasn’t possible. She agreed.

I then asked “If I were Santa Claus and could bring you anything you wanted, what information product would you love to offer your customers?” Within a moment she knew! She was instantly energized by her idea. It was just the right offering for her clients. Plus she already had it mostly written so it would be very easy for her to create.

What was amazing was that, hard as she’d tried, she had not thought of this idea until just that moment. When she took a pause, shifted her attention to a different question, and opened to a broader range of possibilities, she got a new answer. With that answer she found clarity about what she wanted and the energy to create it. The rest was easy. She had the new product ready for her customers within a few days.

In Your Life

Here’s how you can play with the Santa Claus question to discover and uncover what you truly want.

1) Pick an area where you’re unclear, stuck, or confused about what you want.

Examples:

* A project at work
* Your work life
* Redoing your bedroom
* Celebrating your birthday

2) Make an agreement with yourself. For just a few moments you’ll set aside what you “know” is or isn’t possible. You’ll focus on WHAT you want and not IF or HOW it could happen.

Remember you don’t have to do anything based on what you discover; you’re simply learning more about what you want. Play with this and see what happens.

3) Ask yourself the Santa Claus question. If Santa doesn’t work for you, change the question to “If I could wave a magic wand. . .” or “If I were a genie offering you unlimited wishes. . . .”

Examples:

* If I could ask Santa Claus for anything I wanted, what would I ask for with this project I’m working on?* If a genie appeared and offered me unlimited wishes, what would I ask for in my work life?

* If I could wave a magic wand and get whatever I wanted, what would my bedroom look and feel like?

* If Santa Claus could give me anything I wanted, what would I ask for to celebrate my birthday?

Be bold, wild, and outrageous in what you ask for. Usually once my clients get going with this, they have great fun making their Santa Claus lists.

Write down as many answers and details as come to you. You can always come back to the list and add to it. You can also return to the list later and see which ideas are worth exploring and pursuing.

Then What?

What happens next varies greatly, of course.

Sometimes, like Janet in the example above, you get clear immediately and are able to create what you want right away.

Other times something amazing and unexpected shows up in your life. Like the woman I know who got clear that she wanted to record a CD of her music. However, she didn’t know where she would get the money for the recording session. Within a few weeks, she received a check in the mail for almost exactly the amount she needed. It was an unexpected inheritance from her grandmother!

Other times, the journey to what you want may take longer and require more action on your part. Still, knowing where you want to go is a BIG step in the right direction.

So ask yourself the “Santa Claus question” often and create more clarity, energy, and possibility for getting what you truly want in your life.

Enjoy!