How Do You View Your Debt?

Are you loaded down with debt? Do you feel like there is no way out? Have you ever thought that how you view debt might be the problem?

Every aspect of your life, at some point, you wanted. You say “I didn’t want the debt”, but you wanted the thing that came along with the debt, or whatever you exchanged for the debt; maybe it was a house, the car or the car repairs, the clothes.

Debt was just a way to live a certain dream – a means to an end – a way for you to get to your dream faster. Now granted, it may not have been a well planned out dream, but it was a dream just the same.

Think about a debt you have, no matter how big or small. What did you get for that debt? Think about it.

You received something in return for the debt – an equal exchange – but right now, you think what you received was far less than the debt you now carry around.

Think back before the debt, back to the point where you wanted that particular thing, where no debt was too great just as long as you got what you wanted.

Back then you didn’t think what you were receiving was small. Actually you thought the deal was pretty fair, or else you wouldn’t have entered into the debt to begin with. For the most part you not only thought it was fair, but that you got the far better deal!

What has debt done for you?

Most will say nothing, or made me angry, or made me have a horrible ulcer worrying about it, but what has debt really done for you? It allowed you some comfort!!

For some people debt allowed an extra night of sleep knowing they could pay the mortgage on time. For some it was to be able to purchase a home. For others, it was the ability to feed their kids when they had no cash, buy gas, or hold them over till it was payday…For some it was Christmas gifts, but you fast forward a few years, and now this same debt is a horrible thing. Amazing how time changes our perception of things.

Take away the debt you are complaining about, and remember the GIFT this debt brought with it. How different would your life be right now without that?

How has time and thought changed the meaning of your debts?

This article is excerpted from the e-book ‘You are Already Living the Life of Your Dreams’ by Ophelia Nicholson.

If you are considering having some form of therapy it can sometimes be difficult to decide which therapy is best suited to meet your needs. Most people are aware of what counseling is, but nowadays there are other options such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Neuro Linguistic programming (NLP). I am a cognitive therapist providing NLP and CBT therapy, in Hertfordshire. Often people contact me to discuss how CBT and NLP, Hertfordshire differs from counseling therapy. This article will introduce you to how these therapies differ from traditional counseling approaches.

Counseling involves meeting with a counselor and having the opportunity to explore via talking, difficulties you may be having or distress you may be experiencing. The counselors role is to listen attentively to what you are telling them in order to begin to form an understanding of your perspective of the difficulties you may be experiencing. Counseling does not involve giving advice or guiding a client to take a particular course of action. Through the process of being listened to by a counselor, who is trained to reflect and help you to clarify your problem, counseling can be a way of enabling change, more choices or of helping you release strong emotion and feeling, which you have kept bottled up or have felt unable to share with family or friends.

During counseling you are able to explore and talk freely about any aspect of your life, be it past, present or in the future, in a setting which is confidential. Counselors accept and respect their clients and provide a safe environment for the client to explore their life, relationships and themselves. Counseling can be very useful for helping people to deal with distressing emotions associated with bereavement and loss. Counseling can be very useful for you if you feel you would benefit from being listened to or feel burdened by troubles.

Cognitive approaches such as CBT and NLP are both approaches used to promote positive change in individuals. Like counseling, the therapist will treat you with respect and provide a confidential environment for you to work through your problems. Cognitive approaches are effective at alleviating emotional distress and behavioural problems. Unlike counseling, cognitive techniques can be practised by the individual and are based on the philosophy that the content of our thoughts have a major influence on our emotions and behaviour. Through cognitive therapy, it is possible to learn ways to eradicate or manage the types of thoughts you have, which means that the state of mind they sustain, such as anxiety, can be resolved. CBT and NLP are solution-focused techniques that focus on the ‘here and now’. Unlike other talking treatments, such as counseling, the focus is not on trying to find the cause of your distress (the therapist will take a full history and discuss your past but practical strategies to promote well-being in the present is the main focus) rather you will learn to improve your state of mind right now. This involves learning which factors maintain your distress or problem and learning strategies to overcome your problem which you will practice in your own time.

NLP is an intimidating name for what is a common sense, practical and effective therapy. ‘Neuro’ means brain, ‘linguistic’ relates to how we use language both to communicate with others, and within our own brain and ‘programming’ relates to how we create and use patterns of behaviour in everyday life in order to get results. We know that we experience the world through our senses and that this information is translated into thoughts. How you use this internal language in your own brain directly affects your physiology, emotions and behaviour. People tend to develop habits and patterns of using internal language that have positive or negative effects on their emotions and behaviour. NLP therapy, Hert encourages new perspectives and options in thinking, giving you more choices about your behavior and emotions, enhancing your communication and relationships and generating lasting life skills.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy focuses on how you think about a problem (cognitive) and what you do about it (behaviour). CBT can teach you how to recognise and change faulty thinking patterns. This doesn’t mean that you will always think positive thoughts. It is a way to gain control over racing repetitive thoughts, which feed anxiety and depression. CBT can help you make sense of overwhelming problems by breaking them down into achievable parts.

Both these therapy approaches are practical and focused on problem solving in order to meet your therapy goals. This means that unlike counseling, sessions are more structured and less free flowing as you move towards change with the support of your therapist. Often people will seek cognitive therapy such as CBT, Herts or NLP, Herts, when they want solutions to their problem or to move on from limiting thinking, feelings or behaviour.

Are you starting a new business? Ever wonder how you can attract customers to your new business? First of all if you are going to be in businesses for yourself do something you really, really enjoy. Be passionate about whatever business or work you are in. Keep yourself rested and try to have some fun every day of your life. Other people which include customers to your business are not attracted to people who stressed out, worried all the time, tired all the time or does not seem to be having too much fun at what they are working at.

When it comes to doing things you enjoy, it really shows to others. If you love what you are doing you will become very good at it. You will learn more about it quicker than a subject you are not the least bit interested in but just have to do in order to earn a paycheck. You will talk about what you love and are passionate about. You will connect with other people and they will “catch” that same joy you experience and communicate. Things will happen.

Be bold, choose your own path and proceed with that path unstoppable. Even in business, people are attracted to individuals who choose their own path and pursue it with a vibrant passion.

Be meticulous about details. Pay attention to your presentations, the packaging and the delivery of your services or goods.

Arrange your business and your life so you can take advantage of creativity at the moment it happens. This might be a hard one for people who have to be on a particular schedule. I personally despise schedules. They tear me up. I cannot function on a set schedule. When I do I feel like someone else’s robot. The most wonderful thing about my lifestyle now is this freedom to sleep, eat and work when my mind and body says to do those things.

Take care of yourself extremely well. Become extremely and incredibly selfish; manage your time, your space and your life well. You will end up having more to give and more to share. After all if you don’t take care of yourself first and extremely well how can you expect to serve the needs of others?

Respond immediately to phone calls and e-mails. Answer all questions to the fullest of your ability. Go the extra mile. This really does work more often than not.

Do more than you are asked to do, provide more, go further with people than you are paid for. I was this type of person even when I worked for someone else.

I once worked as a clerk-typist and was called upon to do the work of the account clerk while she was out on maternity leave. Before she left she was to give me training. Well….training was not enough for me. I took extensive notes and ended up writing an entire procedure manual for her particular position, which helped me tremendously while she was out on her maternity leave. My supervisor at the time was quite impressed. He ended up utilizing that job procedure manual for other staff members.

I, of course, was like the working 9 to 5 girl who did all the work and received none of the credit. It was truly all taking and no giving. Oh I got a Thank-you and an extra pat on the back from my supervisor. My peers were not so happy with me, however. I stayed there only about a year needless to say. I had a lot of fun in that job! And….I did go the extra mile just for the internal joy of it. All I needed to do was a few simple chores for this girl while she was out on maternity leave, but that streak of creativity hit me and I ended up writing an entire procedure job manual for that particular job! I enjoyed writing the manual more than the boring chores of the actual job. So…..add value just for the joy of it! I did not get extra money in my paycheck for all that extra work.

Decide what your personal values are in life. Spend your days living in harmony with your values. You will become energized, at peace with yourself, focused and attractive to others. Work on becoming YOU as a unique, gifted, and unforgettable individual. I know I have been pretty unforgettable in some of my jobs, not always in positive ways however. I certainly try, and keep on trying, always never giving up those things in life that are most valuable to me.

These are just a few tips that may help you get started attracting others to you and your new business.