The Joe in question isn’t me. It’s a good friend of mine.

Born in squalor, raised in need, and oppressed by his neighbors, he fought tooth and nail to survive the slums, enter a good university- and now, runs a multitude of companies.

These aren’t your run of the mill single proprietorships. These are mid scale corporations with 100 to 500 dedicated employees. Each one radiates the zest he does.

We had a long talk over Coke Light last night (yep, beer’s no good for powerhouses) and I discovered we both lived by similar principles. These tenets helped us survive the tumult of life:

– You can’t be everything to everybody

– Don’t waste time befriending mad dogs.

– Admit there is no perfection, but strive for it nonetheless.

– Never underestimate the delight of real simplicity in lifestyle.

– Avoid unecessary complications.

– Consider first what is worth fighting for.

– Focus your mind on the pleasant aspects of life.

– Concentrate on things that can enhance your situation.

– Forget what is irrevocably painful or ugly.

– Frustration paralyzes efficiency. Ditch it.

– When you feel like a loser, look back at all those shining moments. There’s no such thing as a loser.

– Never procrastinate- cut through the chase and get things done. Or you’ll suffer tomorrow.

– Realize that men aren’t created equal. That’s a fact. But we all deserve equal opportunities.

– There will always be leaders and followers. Not everyone can be president.

– There is no cut and dried formula for success. Run for the hills when someone sells you one.

and here’s one thing I realized after I graduated college:

– Success isn’t an accident. It’s a choice.

Let me tell you something. Every action, thought, and emotion you entertain ultimately shapes your future. Since you made it to the end of this article, I know you’re committed to creating the good life for yourself. You can begin right now by deciding to make the right choices.

Every time.

Let us renew our hope in humanity. It’s so easy to lose faith when someone cuts us off on the highway, when a ‘friend’ blows us off (for the second time) and fails to show, when we get burned in a business deal, when a co-worker doesn’t do what they said they were going to do, or when a colleague fails to keep their promise, etc.

At the same time, we DO encounter people showing heroic acts of kindness in our day-to-day lives. I’m talking about the simple things. In my case, there have been many examples:

* When I was running in the pouring rain, without an umbrella, wearing a spiffy suit, on my way to a meeting, a kind lady (a stranger) offered me her umbrella, gave me her address, and trusted I would return it when the rain died down.

* One day I had left my clothes in the Laundromat’s drying machine. When I returned to get my clothes, I was expecting a big piled-up heap of clothes to be thrown on the table, as usual. But this one time, some stranger had neatly folded ALL of my clothes right down to the socks and put it in a neat little pile beside the drying machine.

* I had lost a very nice leather-bound binder that was as good as new and would have made a really nice accessory. A couple days later I got a kind note from a stranger saying they had found my binder and that they would keep it in a safe place until I picked it up.

These random acts of kindness prove that people have an enormous capacity for good. I’m sure we’ve all seen this in action during the wake of the Tsunami disaster where so many Tsunami Heroes rose to the occasion risking their own lives to help save the lives of others.

And yet, when people don’t meet our standards of proper conduct and common courtesy, it can sometimes be so easy to lose hope, become bitter, and develop a hardened heart. I myself had an unspoken rule that came down to: “three strikes and your out.”

It was pretty ruthless when I think back. Although I didn’t follow that rule right down to the letter, it was pretty close. So if someone failed to come through for me three times in a row (didn’t show up for a meeting or came really late, failed to honor their word, or kept avoiding an important issue that needed to be addressed) they were basically ‘cut-off’ from my life. Needless to say, I lost a lot of friends (and business) that way.

Life is not a baseball game. Life is life. It’s an unsolved mystery. We need to renew our hope in humanity and embrace people with a wider-vision of who they are so they can eventually expand and grow to fill that space. If we don’t give people much space we will continually be disappointed as people keep coming short of our expectations.

It is far better to make the extra effort to look for the good, to look for the Buddha within, than to look for the bad. Nelson Mandela could have come out of jail a very bitter man. Yet he CHOSE to hope! Here is an excerpt from my book, Psychology of the Hero Soul, which illustrates the point:

“Nelson Mandela, a man who suffered years of cruelty and injustice in the hands of his enemies, was still able to see a ray of hope in humanity. In his autobiography, he wrote: ‘I always knew that deep down in every human heart, there is mercy and generosity. No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or is religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than it’s opposite. Even in the grimmest times in prison, when my comrades and I were pushed to the limits, I would see a glimmer of humanity in one of the guards, perhaps just for a second, but it was enough to reassure me and keep me going. Man’s goodness is a flame that can be hidden but never extinguished.'”

Let us renew our hope in humanity. And if we are to err, let us err on the side of compassion, generosity, and tolerance.

Yes, commitment is what is called for. He never cared whether a Monday fell on a Friday nor did it matter to him if it was raining or dry. His motto was, “I am exactly where I need to be at this time. Just take it easy, it’ll all work out just fine.”

I met him many years ago. Let’s just call him Tom. We were in college and he was the roommate of a friend. But they were so different. My friend wanted something out of life while Tom thought that life should bring him all things.

My friend worked hard, studied late hours, focussed on his dreams and goals and graduated with honors. He was committed to his success. Tom, on the other hand, wanted all the good things in life, but didn’t have direction, a plan, a commitment to his future. No one seems to know what became of Tom. He definitely should have been committed.

It doesn’t matter what it is that you want or are striving for. To succeed, a high degree of commitment is necessary. We demand it from others but, most times, do not ask it from ourselves. How would I like it if after paying a webmaster my last penny to get my web site working, he looks at me and says, “You win some, you lose some. I’ll do my best and see what happens. I’ll get it done soon. And when it’s done, it will probably work, but who knows?”

I wouldn’t like to see my child lying on the operating table and hear the surgeon say, “Well, I’ll do my best. You win some, you lose some. What do you expect from me? I’m like everybody else– just trying to make a living. Maybe it’ll be successful, but who knows?”

This I know: I want my web master to be totally committed to our agreement. I want my surgeon to feel bad if he loses. I want him to be committed to the well-being of my son. I want my grocer, my airplane pilot, my friends, my everybody to be committed to what they are doing. And how about me? Shouldn’t I be committed to my own success and happiness? Well, sometimes that’s a different story, or at least, that’s what I’d like to think.

You see, it’s almost always easier for us to see the fault out there than to accept the responsibility for our own actions. Many times, it’s much easier to blame others than to commit ourselves to the path of success and happiness.

Yes, success is not easy. It calls for commitment, for focus, for hurling yourself toward the thing you love to do. Sometimes, success asks for blood, sweat and tears. But failure does not ask, it demands and takes our blood and sweat and tears. It doesn’t matter whether we are dealing with business problems, relationship or health issues. The same principles apply.

Commitment does not guarantee success. All it does is guarantee that you WILL succeed or you WILL fail. On the other hand, a lack of commitment loads the dice on the side of failure. Just the other day I heard from my old college friend. He is enjoying the fruits of success.

We talked about Tom and wondered what had become of him. We hoped that he had found something along the way that he could give his life and passion to. Didn’t matter what it was, a computer expert, a teacher, car mechanic, astronaut, farmer, whatever. We wished him well.

Whatever it is that you do, give your heart and mind to it. Express yourself through your work, your calling, your vocation. Doesn’t matter whether you’re seeking your fortune on the internet or pursuing success on the outernet– a sense of purpose and a touch of madness will bring the world to your doorstep. I have a bit of the former and lots of the latter. Thus far, with all its ups and downs, with all it’s joys and sorrows, with all its failures and successes, life’s been good. It’s what we make it.