NLP has taken the therapy world by storm and quite rightly so. It creates rapid lasting change and you don’t need a PHD to learn the simple skills. There are many, many trainers and training company’s pumping out Practitioner by the hundreds and it would be fair to say that there are varying degrees of competency amongst these. I certainly have been amongst those who have argued in the past that some training school are responsible for poor quality NLP training, thus sending out inexperienced practitioners into the world, free to practice in the therapeutic world of the venerable and insecure.

The challenge with NLP in my opinion, is not finding somewhere to learn it, or someone to teach it, but, actually being good at it. For me, there are two factors that can influence the ability of each individual practitioner.

1) Charisma

Even the most intense, most specialised NLP training course has yet to find a way of teaching this natural elegance to it’s delegates. I’m talking about the elegance that would just ease out of someone like Milton Erickson in an artfully conversational way creating major changes to the listeners’ unconscious mind. Is this a skill that can be learned? If so, how is it taught? Are there people that can never really learn this and are these people practising NLP? Yes of course they are. They are the people who attend the courses to become therapists, yet what they really need is to see a therapist. I’ll never forget, when we first set up People Building and were emailing therapists from all areas to let them know we were on the map. One lady emailed back saying that she was already an NLP Practitioner and had been personally trained by Dr. Richard Bandler and therefore didn’t need to be aware of our services. I had to bind my hands together to prevent the temptation of emailing back “That doesn’t mean you’re any good though, does it?”

2) The Law of Requisite Variety (the person with the most flexibility of behaviour has the greatest influence over others.)

I remember once when I attended an EFT seminar and met a very interesting bunch of therapists called Guided Self Healers. I don’t know anything about Guided Self Healing, so far be it from me to pass judgement on what they do, but I can tell you that they all seemed to be a bunch of nutters. I sat with them whilst they chatted enthusiastically about what number I was. They were sure I was a 9. I don’t know what being a 9 means, but I also know I am a Pisces (which this week means I’m going to meet a stranger, according to my horoscopes- how difficult can that be?!) I’m also a Goat (Chinese astrology) right handed, visual (mainly) and blonde (naturally dumb).

The thing with NLP is it’s great when you use it with a degree of fluidity. Yes, strategies can work, but a complex strategy may be run unconsciously. If you want to elicit an unconscious strategy from someone, they will become conscious about what they are doing, what happens to the strategy then? Yes, anchors can work, but if the client thinks it’s all a load of poppycock, are they going to experience the state when he anchor is tested? Yes, I’m mainly visual, but probably not when I have my singing lessons. It’s great that this stuff works, but being a true NLPer is about accepting that sometimes you get a different result to the one you were expecting, and to expect that anything else could happen instead. Lets stop putting people in boxes and expecting the norm and instead accept that actually anyone can be whatever they choose to do or be. Only then, can we practice as therapists who truly access all of our own internal resources in order to facilitate changes within the clients that we are working with.

That’s right I love receiving greeting cards! It doesn’t matter what time of year, whether it’s a holiday, my birthday, or just because, I like receiving greeting cards. You know I think what I like most is how greetings cards make you feel. A greeting card can really make you feel special or lift you up when you’re down.

Have you ever received a greeting card from someone unexpectingly and it lifted your spirits or made you feel extra special? Well, then you know exactly what I’m talking about. Have you ever thought about sending someone a greeting card just because you wanted to let them know you were thinking about them? If you have not done this you should try it. It makes not only the person you’re sending the card to feel good, but it actually makes you feel good too.

Did you know that in the United States consumers purchase approximately seven billion greeting cards a year which generates approximately eight billion dollars in retail sales. In addition, approximately ninety percent of U.S. households purchase greeting cards, with the average household purchasing thirty greeting cards a year.

I’ve sent greeting cards to relatives, friends, business associates and others on numerous occasions. I have received compliments such as; the greeting card you sent to me made their day and made them feel really good. In some instances, I was able to reconnect with friends and family I had not seen or talked to for a long time.

You know sometimes most of us lead very busy lives and we get tied up with our work schedules, family responsibilities and other things that tie up our time. While this happens time just passes us by so fast and before we know it, years have gone by before we have spoken with someone we know. I ‘m able to get that reconnection by sending out a greeting card to someone that I know. It’s so easy for me to make not only that person I’m sending the card to feel special, I feel good every time I do this as well.

I send greeting cards to my relatives, friends and business associates not only on their birthdays and holidays but just because I am thinking of them at that particular point in time. I like sending greeting cards that are unexpected that surprises the person I am sending the card to.

So, you may want to consider sending a greeting card to someone to make them feel good too. You may find that this will make you feel good too as well. Go ahead, try sending a greeting card to someone you know and you’ll be glad you did!

Homeostasis is a relatively new and obscure science. It is the study of the effect of time on man and on other living creatures. It is also the study of our perception and response to time. Some of the latest discoveries in this realm of science may not win a Nobel prize but they guarantee to fascinate even the dullest curiosity.

In one experiment people were placed deep in underground facilities where they had no way of knowing sunrise or sunset and they had no clocks or any other means of telling time. After a brief period of disorientation they all began develop a routine of sleep, productivity and recreation time that fell into a perfect twenty four hour period. Where did that come from? It seems that providence has placed a twenty four hour clock in the human psyche apart from external stimuli.

Another interesting fact has been uncovered through the science of homeostasis about our adaptations to time and climate. Put quite simply. man adapts to time first and always before any other natural influences. For example, man can live in extremes like cold or heat as long as the twenty four hour internal clock is working. Other species cannot do that. Some bears hibernate until winter has passed conversely there is a badger like creature in the Northeast US that can’t stand the summer heat so it hibernates until cooler weather returns.

When I was performing Celtic and American style folk music I loved a particular song called, “You Won’t Make Old Bones” In it was one of the most intriguing lines I have ever heard. “The young man sits and curses the time upon his hands…The old man sits and curses time’s slipping sands” Every time I sang this song I could hear echoes of my mother warning me about how time only seemed slow because I was young. She would always add that when I grew older time would fly so swiftly that I would be asking myself where it had gone. The line in the song is right, ma was right and I’m still seeking answers to the reasons why this is true.

The feeling that time is short comes to me daily now, and I question whether I have time left to accomplish something worthwhile in my life. The Bible tells me that the days of our years are three score years and ten. It says that, should we make it over the seventy year mark that it will still be filled with labor and sorrow. Psalm 90:10 I’m too old and well experienced to argue with the Bible at this point. I have plenty of proof to corroborate this scripture passage. Yet I see this fact as a very good thing, it is what gives me the ability to concentrate on what is good and differentiate more accurately about what is dross. Here is a key!

Perhaps the very best advice I have heard in my entire life about how to better handle time is this. Always make a distinction between the urgent, and the important. The phone ringing, the knock on the door, three children all calling to you at the same time, this is urgent, but is it important?

This is not just another tip or piece of easy advice. If taken seriously you will see a positive effect immediately in your life. Whether you make mental notes about what you need to do daily or if you’re a corporate executive with a secretary to tell you what’s next, you need to take a hard look at your “to do” list. With complete honesty sit down and remove every item that is only “urgent” and leave only those things that come under the heading of “important” and you will feel a weight lifting as you do. The functional word here is “honestly.”

We are traveling through something we all recognize as time and space. In youth we are mostly involved with the space aspect of life. Later in life we all realize that our travels through time are far more important than we had ever thought. It is our consciousness of this traveling through time that raises some of life’s most important questions. Questions that have to do with quality of life, relationships, love and true productivity.