As you know by now rapport is a key skill that you will need to master to be a successful hypnotist. Without rapport your subject will not be open to your hypnotic suggestions and communications.

A brief review of rapport is the harmonious relationship that you share with people. In this relationship you understand and relate to people’s feelings, ideas as well as communicate them well with one another. Everyone does this everyday with the different relationships they share with family, friends and co-workers.

In order to build a strong and wide rapport you will need to practice and perfect certain skills. Rapport in normal circumstances can often come easily. Think of how easily you share your life with a spouse or your best friend. The rapport here is focused and good, it comes easily and casually.

However hypnosis is not a normal or casual relationship. A deep amount of comfort, trust and familiarity must be established before you can reach your goals with a hypnotic subject. Remember they are going to let you into their mind this is not a place you open to just a perfect stranger.

As you are learning hypnosis you will want to focus on advanced strategies for building rapport. Creating and building on ‘rapport hooks’ is a great skill that will get other people to build rapport with you. Rapport hooks are going to do the work of drawing your subject into you as you get acquainted.

Rapport hooks are developed in a way that will keep people coming back to you to build on the relationship. It causes people to work hard and value the relationships they are building. If a person feels that they are working hard to build something they will also continue to work to maintain the past success they have had.

When you put rapport hooks into action, they will keep the person coming back for more information. The hooks will get your subject to keep asking questions, and coming back to fill in the informational gaps in you are purposefully leaving in your stories.

One way to get a person to keep coming back for that information is to give them small pieces of information that may not be complete. Leave questions in their mind as you tell stories. Give a casual tone, but leave what, why and how open for your subject to dig with.

The key here is to avoid forcing information on to them. Get your subject interested but leave your topics open by adding suspense and unfinished information.

For example, if you are telling a story about a place you visited, use the name of the country but give no specifics about where you went. Tell them the scenery is beautiful but let them ask about the region or sites you saw. Let them probe for these answers. You can do this with almost any topic.

While you are talking remember to use a casual tone and present the information in a way that inclines them to ask for more. If your subject’s curiosity is peaked they will be inclined to want to know more to the point of asking you.

In this manner you are elegantly giving them a good story and drawing them in as well. The more curiosity and interest the person has the more questions they will ask. Asking you questions is subconsciously earning them the right to the information and they begin to feel it is more important.

When you use rapport hooks it will also help you with fractionate rapport. Fractionate rapport happens when you giving rapport then consciously taking it away.

Give your subject your full attention for a while, then, distract yourself. Getting casually distracted by looking around or engaging your attention elsewhere will cause the subject to re-engage you. If the person does re-engage you then you are on board with the beginnings of a foundation for an advanced rapport.

Again this is causing the person to work for your attention. You give it, and then take your attention away. They then have to work to get it back. This makes the relationship more valued yet again because it is not being forced upon them. They are asking for it and earning it.

When using these advanced rapport building skills you will successfully push your rapport further, faster than normal. The more push and pull you involve in your conversations the quicker and deeper your rapport will go.

These skills will take your relationship to higher levels of comfort and trust quickly so a good and wide enough rapport is set to continue. Once this is founded and put into place you will be able to begin to put your subject into trance and begin the real work of hypnosis.

If you suffer from anxiety you most likely know that learning how to control panic attacks is an important step in the recovery process. Many people; however, find that traditional prescription medications provide little relief and often leave them feeling groggy and completely unlike their normal self. The good news is that there are ways in which you can control panic attacks that do not require any prescription medications. Read on for more details to find out how.

One of the first steps in learning how to control panic attacks is understanding that even though a panic attack can certainly be frightening at the time, there is no danger that you are going to die from it or that you will be hurt. While many people may feel as though they are going to lose control or go crazy during an attack, this is not actually accurate. Your body is simply responding in a biological manner to a perceived threat. The symptoms you experience during a panic attack are simply your body’s way of releasing the energy you will need to either remain and fight the danger that is perceived or flee from it. Even though you may feel as though you might be having a heart attack, losing control or going crazy, this is not the case. Work on re-training your mind to understand that none of this is going to happen.

It is also important to focus on slowing down in order to learn how to control panic attacks. One of the most common symptoms of a panic attack is an increased rate of breathing and heart rate. You can learn to control this; however, by regularly practicing breathing techniques and exercises. This will help to calm your racing thoughts as well as physically slow down your body. You can do this by inhaling and exhaling slowly and counting as you do so. As your body begins to calm and slow down many of the symptoms associated with panic attacks will also decrease including trembling, dizziness, confusion, muscle aches and tingling.

Other ways in which you can control panic attacks including contacting someone from your support system when you begin to feel first symptoms of a panic attack. This can help you to immediately take control of the situation. Even if you must speak to the person on the phone rather than in person, explaining how you are feeling can provide a good deal of comfort to immediately ease the situation.

Taking a walk to burn off the excess energy and adrenaline your body is releasing can also prove to be quite helpful.

Occupying your mind with something else when you begin to feel anxious is another great way to control panic attacks. Good ways you can do this include noticing details of what else is going on around you and listening to music. Even these simple acts can help to take your mind off the possibility of a panic attack and focus it on something more positive.

With these techniques and guidelines you can learn how to control panic attacks and begin to make the journey toward recovery.

Anger, anxiety, guilt, regret and worry are all perfectly normal emotions. They are our mind’s way of telling us that something is wrong and we need to get off our keesters to fix it. As I have said many times before, we only have a limited amount of energy to stay healthy, age gracefully and live happily. It is up to you to choose how you spend that energy.

“Okay,” you say, “that is great and all, but HOW do I choose to not be miserable?” Well, the first thing is to look at your irrational thoughts. Life is 10% reality and 90% what we make of it. Unfortunately, many people grow up learning irrational ways of thinking and negative ways of viewing the world.

Characteristics of Irrational Thoughts

Irrational thoughts are inflexible or “must-abatory thinking” Things must be just so. There are very few things in life we must do. I am about as rigid and inflexible as they come, I have learned that flexibility makes life a whole lot easier.

1. Get a stack of index cards.
2. One each card, write down one thing you feel you “must” do. Low and behold, you will often find that there are not enough hours in an 8-day week to get it all done.
3. Prioritize the cards in order of what is the most important.
4. Flip the cards over and write modifications to make the “musts” more flexible. For example, one of my musts is exercising. Long ago I was very rigid about exercising between 9 and 11 every single morning and had a very strict routine of what I did. As I had children, got a job etc., I quickly stopped being able to adhere as rigidly to that “must.” Other “musts” like caring for my kids and not getting fired moved up on the priority list. Nevertheless, I am a much nicer person if I get out my aggression at the gym, so on the back of the card, I would write alternatives like, workout at home, mow the lawn (a push mower and 2/3 of an acre gets out a lot of aggression), get up at 5 and go on a run etc. All these alternatives still let me accomplish the “must” of exercising, but provided me some flexibility.

Irrational thoughts place unrealistic expectations on yourself or others and/or are non-self-accepting and/or fail to accept human fallibility. This one is harder, because most of us have difficulty identifying what “unrealistic” is. Further, what is unrealistic for you might not be unrealistic for me and vice versa. It is always helpful to ask someone else’s opinion of what is “realistic.” This goes for quantity and type of work as well as expectations for perfection. Life is much easier if you have realistic expectations of yourself and others and accept (and anticipate) that people make mistakes.

Irrational thoughts demonstrate over-concern with others’ opinion of yourself. If you find yourself getting all wrapped up in trying to get someone’s approval, ask yourself, “Why do I need his/her approval?” Many times it is helpful to differentiate between “like” and “respect.” Okay, ideally your boss and co-workers will like and respect you, but will it have a major impact on your life if they don’t? If they respect your work and know you do a good job, do you really care if they want to be your friend? People who need to be needed and must be liked often are exhausted trying to please everyone else and forget to take care of themselves.

Irrational thoughts also assume your authority or superiority over others. This reminds me of a joke, How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it has to want to change. . . HarHarHar…I have said it before and will say it again, you cannot change another person. If you get caught in the trap of thinking that someone will change for you, you will be disappointed. When people change for anyone else but themselves, the change is only short-lived. This type of thinking also leads to conflict with others who also see themselves as the center of the universe. Both of you cannot be the center of the universe and, chances are, neither one of you is right all the time. You may indeed be right. Some people may be stupid, nevertheless, sometimes we all have to be subordinate to people who are wrong or ignorant.

Irrational thoughts assume a clear-cut difference between right and wrong and that you have the ability to always accurately differentiate between the two. In reality, there are few clear cut answers. I tell my patients that they need to evaluate their decisions based on head-heart and gut honesty. If your head, heart and gut all are okay with the decision, it is probably a good one. What does that mean? Well, ask yourself, does this seem to make sense (intellectual/head honesty), can I live with this decision (heart honesty) and does it feel right or turn my stomach (gut honesty).

Irrational thoughts place you at the center of the universe. People get all upset when they make a mistake or say the wrong thing. Get over yourself! You are not going to be in control all of the time, and the things you do and say are not really that memorable. Even some of the biggest faux pas only get you ribbed for a few weeks. Then there is something new to grab people’s attention.

Irrational thoughts over-estimate your right to a trouble-free life and under-estimate your ability to cope with adversity. If you can view problems as challenges placed in your path to help you grow, it tends to take the edge off things. Many challenges are too great to cope with alone. The most effective people are able to realize when they need help or support from others.

In sum, we all have irrational thoughts. When you start to feel angry, anxious or guilt-ridden, review the list above to see which statements best describe the thought patterns that are making you unhappy. Ask yourself: “What am I getting upset about?” “What thoughts/beliefs/self-talk do I have that are supporting my misery?” “Are these thoughts/beliefs/self-statements rational, productive and helpful?” If they are not, replace them with more realistic thoughts/beliefs/self-statements. Finally, remember that dwelling in negative emotions is just going to make you sick. Anger, anxiety and guilt are meant to make you take action, so get going!