A friend popped this question to me- I’m tired of being sensitive and freaking out now and again with stress. I’d like to be able to work and sleep and do the other things i need to do with steady progress. It gets all messed up when I’m not steady. i get upset easily… then i lose my focus and balance… can’t concentrate though i try to get back to my focus… i lose my sleeping routine and schedule. i hate it. The question is not clear but I am sure you get the meaning. Many of us have this problem. Sudden stress derails us for weeks and throws all our plans haywire. How to deal with this kind of problem? Here are some ways-

Meditation-

Sit down comfortably and focus mind on something. Even candlelight will do. Let the thoughts come, ignore them. Keep your focus on the light. Do not move much and remain steady. Watch your breath. If it is fast slow it down. Meditation is very good to relax and bring focus back in life.

Control Thoughts-

Say “stop” and re-focus on your goals and your ideal future You can also focus on a calming word or scene. Do this whenever you freak out with stress. Get up from your chair and lie down. Say stop to the thoughts and focus on something lovely. Focus on anything that brings positive memories. You can control your thoughts by watching them. You can use negative feedback for this by wearing a rubber band on your wrist and snapping it when you think negatively.

Yoga-

If you have many balls to juggle, start practicing yoga. Yoga is very relaxing. Do yoga for only 30 minutes total, twice a week, and you will see the improvement in your mood. Put on soothing music and do yoga. Another trick is to sing and listen to it. Most of us sing but our ears are somewhere else. Focus ears on what you are singing and watch the difference.

Walking-

No matter where your emotions were, take a walk and you will feel better. The endorphins that are released when you walk are very relaxing. Walking also keeps us fit and gives us strength to fight stress better. The swat removes lots of toxins and keeps body clean. Your body will maintain its beauty if you walk when you are under stress.

Important –

Do not let everything bother you. That will surely lead to stress. You need to find out what is most important in your life. Put your focus on what is important and forget the rest. Otherwise you will be wasting your time and energy on what is not important at all. Write down what is most important and keep that near your bed and desk. Focus on that and leave the rest alone.

Pamper-

Take time out for you. Pamper yourself. Stop worrying about what went wrong and forgive yourself for all the mistakes. Keep a pet and play with him. Enjoy life even if things are going wrong.

I’ve been fasting today. I do it four times a month and am seldom bothered by hunger (I’ll explain why later). But today was different and in the afternoon at around 5.00 PM I had “demon hunger” and couldn’t concentrate on some computer work that I was doing. I really felt like eating something!

I contemplated taking some fruit, which is generally a good idea whenever you are in this kind of predicament. For example, suppose you are trying to lose weight by cutting down on high calorie snacks in-between meals, and all of a sudden you get the “munchies” well if you eat an apple or some other fruit it sometimes does the trick and your hunger is gone.

But instead of grabbing an apple, I resorted to a “yogi trick,” I drank two glasses of lemon water. I made it by squeezing lemon into the glass and adding a bit of salt and water. This lemon water drink is great for giving strength and it also works to allay the hunger. I drank and then went back to work (which includes typing this blog entry). So if you really want to stick to your fast, before you to for fruit, try the lemon water.

And remember one thing: you will not go to hell if you take some lemon water or eat a fruit. Fasting is not a “religious” act (though it has value if you use the time that you save from shopping, cooking and cleaning and do something spiritual during the gained time). Fasting will help you to maintain your health, so do your best to do it regularly (twice a month is great).

Now, I promised to tell you how I usually avoid hunger altogether on the fasting day, so I will do it. Before you begin a fast you have to prepare yourself physically, and most important mentally.

Let’s start with mental preparation. The night before the day when you will be fasting you have to remember that tomorrow is the fasting day and set your mind to it. It’s final, tomorrow you are fasting. If you have this kind of determination, then your desire to eat will not even start working on the day of fasting. It just shuts down. It is amazing but it is true.

If you don’t make this kind of mental preparation then when you wake up you will be thinking of breakfast or of eating sometime. If you decide to fast right then, on the spot, you will also think about why it might be good to eat (you can always find a reason!). And in the midst of this quivering mind-set hunger usually wins the day! So make up your mind the night before and you will be surprised at how helpful it is.

Second, and this is why I was hungry today, prepare yourself physically. The day before the fast make sure that you get enough liquids and also enough calories. My meals yesterday must have been too skimpy and that is why I got hungry. In any case the day is almost over and tomorrow I will dig into some yogurt and fruit!

Criticism is difficult to handle. None of us likes to hear the bitter truth about our mistakes and inabilities. But we face Criticism in life everyday and cannot escape it. We also v others so we know that it is a two way street. How to handle Criticism?

What To Do When We are Criticized?

Listen to the criticism and before you react to it, think about your strengths. That will give you positive input and make you ready to face the criticism squarely. Even if it is true that will give you the strength to face and do something about it other than an angry retort. Otherwise we may begin feeling angry and sometimes worthless.

Content of criticism-

Is the criticism true? Or it is misinterpretation of the facts? You may at times set aside your fears and emotions and look at the situation clearly. If need be ask the other person more details and their beliefs. Probably they believe something different than you. Once you talk to them and ask them about what can be done you will be on path to recovery rather than destruction.

The truth-

We criticize others. We believe that to be true. Similarly somebody criticizing us may feel that they are right and the criticism may well be true. What would you do then? What should we logically do when we know that we are weak in something? We should strengthen, right? So rather than worrying about the weakness, make that point strong in your life. Think of ways to improve and do it slowly.

Grudge and what to do about it-

Are you focusing on the person who criticizes you or on the content of the criticism? If you focus on the person your focus will shift to other person’s weaknesses and you will strike back with your list of criticisms. Instead focus on the criticism itself. Leave that person aside.

How to Handle Self Criticism?

There is a distinct difference between self criticism and criticism by others. Most of us are too happy to agree with whatever we bash ourselves with but when some body else tells us the same thing we attack right back. If I tell myself that I walk slowly that is Ok, but if my friend tells me the same thing, I take umbrage and tell them that that is not true at all. Why do we look at criticism so differently?

The trouble with this-

The trouble comes in two ways. If some body tells us something that is true we tend not to agree but if we criticise our selves wrongly we are too ready to accept that and go into a bout of depression. Expressions such as – I am no good, I am of no use, I always fail, no body appreciates me and so on are readily heard when some body criticizes oneself. The person believes them all and all efforts of self-help go to waste.

What to do-

If we treat both criticisms differently we will surely be in trouble. What should we do then? Let us look at this in another way to solve the problem. Remove the person who is making criticism from picture and only look at the criticism. Remove yourself or anybody else. That way you will only be paying attention to the criticism and will have no biased view. After this look at the criticism for truth. Is there any truth in this statement? Think logically and let no emotion enter the thoughts. With logic you will be able to analyze the situation clearly. If the criticism is wrong you will conclude that it is wrong and not true and vice versa. If you were to think about this any other way you would have reached a wrong conclusion.