Thinking positive can be a lot like lying to yourself. You tell yourself things that are not true in order to change your state of mind. Friends who tell you to think positive are sabotaging you without even knowing it.

Negative and limiting emotions are the playground for imbalance, unsure ness, worry and anxiety.
When you are caught up in your emotions, you are making decisions based on what you see through those emotional glasses. What we want to be able to do is to take off those emotional glasses so that you can make more clear choices based off of higher unlimited emotional states such as courageousness, acceptance and peace.

And once your there anything is possible. There are a lot of times that we cannot reach for what we want based off of the principals of the movie “The Secret”. Letting go of the emotions that hold you back are ways of implementing the movies guidelines so that you become everything it is that you want to be.

The trap that we fall into is all of the oppositional thoughts that come up when we use the principals of “The Secret”. All of those thoughts that say it’s not true. Such as:

“I have all the money I need to pay my bills”
“I am living in abundance”
“I am moving more and more towards financial freedom”
“I am truly happy every day in every way”

It looks good on paper but notice the resistance that engenders when you say those phrases. Often times it is right in your gut or just below the sternum. It’s different for everyone. Sometimes you break out in cold sweats and bang your hand against your head like Rain Man…wait…that was me 5 years ago. Sorry.

Now the quickest shortest way towards your goals is to say it to yourself just like the movies suggests. You vision it, feel it. Just as if it were happening to you right now. Again though, that is tough for most of us because it feels as though we are lying to ourselves. Most of our responses to the above statements are, “Yeah right.” “Whatever” and the ever famous, “Bulls***”

Those thoughts, needless to say, don’t serve you. What if you tried to phrase it just a little differently? What if you could phrase the goal statements in a way that allowed for the possibility of having abundance or being truly happy?

Try this.

“I allow myself to have all the money I need to pay my bills”
“I allow myself to have abundance”
“I allow myself to be truly happy”

Notice how that feels? Can you feel the space opening up within? See how now it’s not such a stretch for you to reach your goal. When you allow for the possibility then you don’t have very far to go before you can kick it up a notch and say, “I am living in abundance.” I am truly happy.”

Remember, your emotions and feelings don’t want you to be happy. They would rather have you stay in the security of your suffering than to be out in the unlimited possibility of the unknown. Grasp this, and you will well be on your way to mastering your own mind and creating the type of life you deserve to have.

To find out more about how to discover the passion that’s already within you…You might find it helpful to sign up for my free 6 part Email course. Just send a mail to the address below to sign up: discoverpassion@bobbyspiritspeak.com

We lose our love for those who want to control, suppress or use us when we believe that:

a. Others want to control me.
b. I must do what others want in order to have their love and be safe.
c. I am in danger if I do not do what others want.
d. I cannot love someone who does not do what I want and thus others will not love me if I do not do what they want.
e. I am the victim.
f. I will not be a good person if I say no.
g. I am weak and cannot protect myself.
h. I must protect my freedom from others – by not doing what they want or ask.

First of all it may not at all true that others are trying to control or suppress us. This could be a subjective projection from our past, causing us to misinterpret their motives. They may simply be living their lives and seeking to satisfy their needs. They may not want to suppress us, and might feel quite surprised if we told them we believed that they wanted to.

Often we create our own feelings of suppression because of our inability to express our own needs and feelings. In such cases the others have no idea of what we are feeling, because we do not let them know. In such cases, the problem can be easily solved by effective communication in which we explain what we would like to do and not like to do.

Some may actually want us to do something we prefer not to do, because they want to help us, they believe it will be good for us. Their ultimate motive is to help us.

Even when others do want to control us, they cannot force us to do anything we do not want to do, unless we need something from them. We must need their approval, love, money or our job, or perhaps even our life, if that is in their hands. So ultimately we bargain our freedom for what we need from them. We can be free, only when we are secure enough within ourselves to do what we really want regardless of the consequences. In such cases, our lesson might be to develop the inner strength to do what we really want with love, and with no fear or negative feelings towards the other.

In other cases, we may need to learn to let go of our needs and comply with the others, wishes. with love and without feelings of sacrifice. Our lesson may be to let go of the fear of being controlled and offer in love what the others need from us.

We fear losing the other’s love more so when we ourselves are unable to love them when they do not do what we want from them. If we are unable to love others when they say “no, then we cannot imagine that they will love us if we do not comply with their wishes.

We can love those who seek to suppress us when we understand that:
a. We are being given this situation as an opportunity for growth.
b. No one can suppress us, unless we need something from them.
c. Our lesson might be to learn to refuse with love.
d. We are safe and lovable even when we chose not to do what the others want.
e. We may need to learn to do what the others need with love.

From the forthcoming book “Love is The Choice”
by Robert Elias Najemy

Why do we lose our love when others are behaving egotistically? What is the danger for us? We might answer that it is natural not to love an egotistical person. But what is our danger here? Are we losing self-worth, security, freedom, control or pleasure? Perhaps we are offended by our own egotism that reflects in the others’ behavior?

If the others were five years old, would we be offended and outraged by their egotistical behavior? Or would we continue to love them, while we explained to them that this behavior is not pleasant and that we would prefer that they not behave in this way? We might even ignore them because they do not know better. Would we feel danger? Then why do we feel danger from an egotistical adult? What danger exists for us from that adult that does not exist from the child?

The answer is probably: No, there is no danger from an egotistical adult. Most probably we lose our love for egotistical persons, because we perceive them as “bad” and because they remind us of our own egotistical aspects.

We could love them even when they are egotistical and cold and uncaring once we realize that this behavior is a result of their fear, pain and inner emptiness. They cannot be happy inside to behaving in this way. They are lonely and not feeling love or unity with those around them.

They need our understanding and love – not our rejection and hate. We need to see them as children in need of love and understanding. We attract from others that which we perceive in them.

We are being asked in this case to connect with the divine consciousness behind the others’ alienated and suffering mind and love them regardless of their behavior. We are being asked to be bigger than our own personality and connect with our soul nature in order to perceive their soul nature and love them as they are.

That does not mean that we do not ask them to become more interested in others and make an effort to care for and respond to others, needs. We can feel comfortable asking this, when we do not reject them but are sincerely seeking to help them feel better.

Loving those who ignore or do not respond to our needs

23. When they ignore my needs.

Why should others respond to or fulfill our needs? Why is this a prerequisite for us to love them? Why is this a prerequisite for us to feel that they love us? Are we always able to fulfill or respond to their needs? When we are unable to fulfill or respond to others needs, or choose not to, is it because we do not love them, or because we are obstructed by our needs, fears, and various inner obstacles?

Perhaps we can let go of this prerequisite for love and choose to love others even when they cannot or choose not to fulfill our needs. This would be a much higher level of love. Love without their satisfying our needs, such as self-worth, security, freedom, and pleasure – love simply for love,s sake.

Loving someone who does not fulfill our needs is a wonderful opportunity to develop selfless love. This is our challenge in this scenario.

We often believe that others do not love us, when they do not respond to our needs. It may be that they do love us but are not able to respond because of their differing needs, values and perceptions or because they are controlled by various attachments and attachments. If we examine ourselves, we will find that we are not able to facilitate all of our loved ones needs, even though we do love them.

Again we have every right to communicate effectively and negotiate for what we need from those persons. But this can be done without the blackmail of withholding love if they do not respond. They are much more likely to respond when they feel that our love is there regardless of what they do.

From the book “Love is The Choice”
by Robert Elias Najemy