By dropping judgment we allow love.

In fact, when we drop a lot of things, we allow love.

Dropping all the stresses and ‘have toos’ allows the mind to relax. It lets the body yield and leaves room for the soul to manouvour into situations where it can grow.

When we drop judgments we become more clear on who we are and what we are really doing. Let me give you an example:

When a parent tells a child off, one of the judgments a parent has is that, if I don’t tell them off they’re always going to do that naughty thing. Yet often when a child does that naughty thing all they have is an unfulfilled need at that moment – and usually it’s connection to love.

Whenever I successfully manage not to avoid judging my kids behaviour love flows. Recently my daughter stuck her tongue out at me when I asked her to do something – bless her. I walked away, admiring her strong spirit and hiding a smile. Later I asked her if I could stick my tongue out at her. She nodded. She then told me she didn’t like it very much.

We agreed, just for a moment – in the name of fun – we’d both give each other permission to stick our tongues out at each other. We ended up rolling around the floor laughing. She said, ‘But dad, dad, you haven’t seen my angriest face yet.’

‘Go on,’ I said.

So she pulled her angriest face and we both howled with laughter, tears rolling over our cheeks and clutching our tummies in a way we’ve probably never done before.

Had I judged her for sticking her tongue out we’d have missed that wonderful opportunity. We’d also have missed moments when we’ve brought up the memories of that time when we stuck out our tongues.

I hasten to add, she’s not stuck her tongue out at me in anger since – fingers crossed for the future, eh?

What releasing judgment does is this: it takes us from a place of acting out a drama. It then puts us in a situation of knowing and understanding.

Releasing judgment is the difference between fighting the evils of our life and seeing them as opportunities to grow.

That might all sound easier said than done. But when we understand that each event in our life is a calling to return to who we really are we become more conscious of why it’s happening. How we experience what happens shows us how where we are on that journey.

Ultimately all any of us want is to feel love. Dropping judgment is a huge step.

Here’s a few tips

1. When anything causes you emotional turmoil just pause, let go of any judgments and imagine you have let it all go.

2. Feel the weight lift from your shoulders.

3 Take a deep breath

4. Now ask yourself how can I handle this with love?

With Love and good wishes

Neil

Why People Are Afraid To Take Risks & Leave Their Comfort Zones

When we consider actually moving toward our heart’s desire, a part of us automatically looks ahead to the possible consequences – especially the negative ones. Our “comfort zone” glooms onto these negative consequences. The comfort zone argues it’s the actions that will bring on the negative consequences.

The comfort zone’s emotionally backed recommendation: No Action

The comfort zone stays fairly quiet as long as we don’t seriously contemplate action. We can want our dream all we want; we can think about someday getting it as much as we like; we can tell everyone we know how we’re one day going to have it at every opportunity. We can even make commitments we don’t really plan to keep. The only thing we can’t do is DO IT!

If we begin to do it, the comfort zone goes into overdrive – hyperdrive, actually – and gets us back on track. “On track” to the comfort zone is what we’ve always done before, which means heading (again) toward B, even though our dream rests with A. Why are the consequences of action so uncomfortable? Let’s take a look:

1. When we choose, we must let other choices go. For example, if we have enough money for one popsicle, and we choose cherry, we must let go of grape, orange, tangerine, banana supreme, watermelon, and passion fruit. Naturally, we don’t want to let go of all of those other flavors that we love. All that loss! We’re miserable. We should have stayed at home. No, the storekeeper won’t let us have a bite of each. No, there’s no credit. We keep picking up and setting down one flavor after another, feeling rotten, until we get frostbite. When we make our big choice and go for the Big Dream, it means letting go of all the other Big Dreams, even though those dreams may be as appealing as grape, orange, tangerine, banana supreme, watermelon, and passion fruit. If we make no choice, we end up with nothing.

2. When we choose, we risk losing. If we boldly walk into the store and say, “I want a cherry popsicle,” we run the risk of the storekeeper saying, “We’re all out,” or, even worse, “We sold the last one five minutes ago. You just missed it.” (Why do people say things like that? Why do they add torture to torment? We don’t know why, but they do.)

If we commit to the one Big Dream, we might not get it. We might lose. And not only will we know, but everyone else will know, too. It’s the “agony of defeat.” Ugh! How horrible. When we never really choose – never really commit – if we don’t get it, we can always say, “Oh, I didn’t really want it anyway.”

3. When we choose, we risk winning. We stride in! We put down our money! We get the cherry popsicle! We claim it! It is in our hand! It is ours! The store- keeper says, “Congratulations!” Now what?

It’s the big “Now-What?” that many people find more intimidating than “the agony of defeat.” Defeat is part of most people’s comfort zone. But winning? “What would I do? What would happen to me? How would I cope?” It’s called the fear of success. Not only do we have to make changes to become successful, but success itself brings additional changes. The greater the success, the greater the changes.

On occasion, I like to bring up ideas, exercises and concepts that some would consider to be a little woo woo, esoteric, or downright crazy. When I do this, I simply ask for your indulgence and suggest that even if something is unusual, it has potential to work wonders and give value.

First a couple of questions: when you are dealing with another person–a client, a prospect, a child, a spouse, a romantic interest–how receptive are you to their energy? And how willing are you to imagine yourself becoming of one mind with that person?

I’ve suggested several other exercises over the months with articles on ‘vibration’ and surrounding ourselves with pink bubbles’ and I’d like to revisit the idea of energy here.

Energy is all about the language of the unconscious mind and the interconnectedness of all life. This is an interconnectedness with each other and with the divine (whether that be God or Buddha or whomever you worship).

Recently on one of my private one-on-one coaching calls, a very insightful student/client of mine brought up this concept. It started me thinking about how this is exactly the kind of thing that enhances persuasion immeasurably. I realize there’s a fine line of what will pull people in and what will repel them or scare them off. And I completely understand the hesitation. My request: push past this hesitation and receive this information in the spirit that I am giving it: This is a means to advance persuasion skills incredibly.

My student described a metaphorical vehicle which he uses in ‘meditation’. It’s a golden orb, an egg-like structure, which he imagines over his head as a source of divine energy. This golden orb flows down through him, to his heart and pours out into the individual with whom he is connecting.

When he described this, it struck me as a beautiful way of interacting and it presupposes an intention of doing the highest good, working with the greatest amount of integrity for the benefit and happiness of everyone involved.

All of this is the language of the unconscious. This is exactly the kind of thing that I think is perfect for what needs to be done.

There is an immense value in this sort of exercise for us as persuaders. You are not asking the other person to change or interfering with their will, but you are changing your response to what is going on. As a result, your prospect, friend, child, romantic interest, business associate, boss, employee. . . whomever, will most likely follow and you will find yourself having a greater capability with them.

In doing this, you have expanded the persuasion field, your frame around your self, giving you greater reach and a wider field of vision.

Keep this in mind at all times. . . so much of what persuasion is originates and emanates from us. It is controlled by us more so than most people would believe because most persuaders think that the control lies with the person we’re persuading and it really is more within us than anything.

All of the exercises I’ve written about, from the unconscious hello, to surrounding ourselves with pink bubbles, to the way we set our intention, to the power of vibrations, to this golden orb. . . all of them point to the fact that persuasion is under our control. One more time: Persuasion is under our control.