Nobody can hurt you without your consent. There are many instances in life where your confidence is hit hard. Sometimes you overcome life’s hardness, sometimes you get overwhelmed. Sometimes your courage and confidence sees you through, but sometimes your self-confidence gets a beating. However, the point here to remember is that “nobody can hurt you without your consent.”

The problem is not as important as the impact it had on you, rather the impact that you let the problem create on you. In life pain is inevitable but suffering is optional, as the saying goes. It’s purely your choice, and whether you choose to bounce back or suffer is entirely your prerogative.

There can be many reasons that your self-confidence is hurt. You may have had a bad marriage and now are heading for a divorce.

You were not chosen for your college’s football team; you may have been laid off. There’s definitely a lot of pain involved in any of the situations. But you don’t necessarily have to suffer. You must arise and resolve to get back your confidence.

The following five ways would help you do just that.

1. Look at the brighter side. If you have been laid off, it would be okay to feel bad about it for a day or two but not more than that. Losing a job is a terrible thing, but it does not mean the end of the world.

Who knows it might be a blessing in disguise. Maybe you have got some time to review your life, get aware of where you are going, have a look at your likes and hobbies which you could not develop because of pressures of your job. Maybe this is an opportunity to start afresh and live your life a new way which is more in sync with your abilities and aptitude.

Similarly, a divorce may cause great pain but then you weren’t too happy in your marriage either. It probably was just not meant to be. Now you have a chance to rebuild your life the way you want it to be.

2. Stop comparing yourself with other people. When we have a problem we always question god – “oh, god, why me?” Certainly god gave you a lot of rewards as well.

Did you then get up and ask god -“oh god, why me?” That’s what human nature is all about. We complain and remember god when we are in trouble or else we are too busy with ourselves.

Stop looking at other people who seem too happy and comfortable to you from a distance. Stop comparing their comfort with your suffering.

This will only frustrate you further. Focus on yourself and make every effort you can make to go out whenever you are feeling down.

3. Self-pity is very addictive and capable of destroying lives. Instead of indulging in self-pity (though we all do from time to time), take control of your life and take responsibility for your actions, learn from your mistakes and make a fresh start.

4. And yeah…don’t be bogged down when you hear a “no”. A “no” is something which even greats like Edison and Ford, too, had to face. If you look at them positively, you will find that each “no” actually takes you closer to a “yes.” It’s been reported time and time again that Edison conducted more than a thousand failed experiments before he actually made an electric bulb! So get going and take an occasional no in stride.

5. Are you standing in your own way? You will notice that shadows are caused when we stand in the path of sunshine. In our lives, too, we cause a lot of shadows by standing in the way of our own happiness. In today’s world, it is important to be flexible. A lot of people will look for a job for months, yet still reject work coming their way because they are not willing to adapt to some new job requirements.

Jane, a schoolteacher, was laid off from her job. She kept trying for months to get a job as a teacher while rejecting opportunities such as taking private tuitions, being a nanny, doing copy- editing work as a freelancer. The long wait hurt her self-confidence even more. Sometimes it is wise to be a little flexible and adapt ourselves to new job demands rather than to look exactly for what we lost. It helps regain confidence quickly which brings along enough energy to get an even better job in the field of your choice!

Don’t forget, there is always a way to regain your lost self-confidence. You just have to look for it. Because finding is reserved for those who search. Are you searching for an answer?

1 – Force yourself to separate work and personal life: Social psychologists support that your ability to do a good job while at work depends on whether or not you have a home life that refreshes and restores you. If you cannot stop thinking about the projects you have to complete after leaving the office, try to create a mental filing cabinet. It would act as your actual project cabinet since you will allow yourself to sit down, open it and deal with your work worries. Then force yourself to mentally close the cabinet and do something else. You can try this on Fridays before leaving the office or each night at a certain time. The most important thing is to lock the cabinet before attempting to direct your attention to something less stressful.

2 – Avoid multitasking except while being at the office: A rather usual bad tactic today’s working professionals suffer from is subconsciously taking the office habits -especially that of multitasking- home with them. It is not rare that people find themselves washing dishes or cleaning their drawers while phoning a friend or checking their mails. Living everyday in the overdrive has resulted in multitasking when one ought to relax. Although some consider this as a normal routine, our bodies do not. In order to balance work, play, and rest, try to write down five ways work blends into your free time. Then select one to focus on. If for example you tend to check your e-mails every hour while at home, cut back initially by half and then more until you get it down to once a night. By transforming mindless habits into conscious choices, you will limit your body’s stress and gain control over your free time during the day or night.

3 – Socialize outside your work: To lead a more fulfilling personal life, expand your exposure to people you do not work with. Otherwise, you will constantly be pushed into the role you play while being at the office. Meet your friends, get our more often, sign up for a photography class, join the gym or volunteer your services for a cause. Meeting people and exchanging ideas is a very healthy way of finding the necessary balance within and gradually advance your abilities and social skills.

4 – Stop talking about work: People tend to develop social circles and share common experiences. When these circles are familiar or come from your work industry, try to avoid spending all your free time talking about issues that you would normally discuss during a lunch brake. Introduce new subjects and direct the conversation towards new issues of interest. Sports, arts, politics, and travel, can be very exciting subjects for your friends to dive into and by the end of the evening you will appreciate the fact that you learned something that was both entertaining and relaxing.

5 – Your home is your sanctuary: To prevent work from invading your home, create a personal project that will keep you busy but at the same time help you relax and recharge. You can gain a lot from painting, cooking a special dinner for your friends or investing time to start a home-improvement project. Invent new ways of keeping yourself active and your body and mind will thank you for having diverse interests.

Stress can be defined as the external forces of the outside world impacting on the individual. Yet stress is also a normal part of life that can help us develop and grow as people. On the other hand, stress can cause us significant problems.

Stress releases potent neurochemicals and hormones these prepare us for action. The common reason for stress is to either fight or flee. If we don’t take action, the stress response can lead to health problems. Prolonged, uninterrupted, unexpected, and unmanageable stresses are the most damaging types of stress.

Day in and day out we face stressful situations. They meet us at every corner of our life. We can face to face and with stress in life’s low valleys as well as on the mountaintops where we experience life’s real joys. The good and the bad both come with there own patterns of stress.

Meeting groups of people can be particularly problematic. Everybody, no matter how experienced they may be, will feel a degree of stress when faced with a group situation.

Bear in mind that if you are feeling under stress then everyone else in the group is feeling in much the same way. However, if you’ve been called to lead that group then the stress on you is going to be that much greater. You will be concerned about how others perceive you, about whether you will be accepted or not and you will be thinking about the task that the group must face as well. Never lose sight of the big picture, the reason for the existence of the group.

The group will operate and perform their task much better if they are feeling comfortable with the group. The group dynamics can be influenced by the degree of interaction of the members of the group. If you are the leader then it’s your responsibility to get the group performing.

You will find the task much easier and less stressful if you are adequately prepared. One way you can prepare is to have a bank of stress relief games for groups at hand, or at least have an idea of how these stress relief games for groups work.

You’ll find that these games will help to break down the natural barriers that exist as groups begin to form and develop.

Stress Relief Games for Groups #1: If I Were A…

These stress relief games is extremely good at getting people out of their shells and begin communicating. Good communication assists with group performance and without it the group would never achieve its stated aims.

Its best to have the group stand or sit in a circle, this will create a sense of the belonging. The leader starts by turning to the person on his right and ask the question “if you work and animal what animal which you be?” That person will answer the question and turn to the person on his right and ask a similar question, such as if you were a famous writer who would you be? The game that continues and everyone has a chance to ask a question and give an answer. Just remember that nobody is allowed to repeat a category.

This is a very simple game with no preparation beforehand and that is the best type of stress relief game for a group.

Stress Relief Games for Groups #2: Who Likes What?

In this game everybody has a pencil and a piece of paper on which to list five categories. Basically the categories can be about anything such as “composers”, “actors” or any other category like a fancy.

Now everybody is simply lists their favourite item in each part of the category.

Give everyone a piece of paper and a pencil. Then list five categories such as “foods” or “musicians.” Everyone should list his or her favourite thing in each category. All the slips of paper should then be given back to you (the leader). As you read each list aloud, the other members of the group try to guess whose list you are reading.

Stress Relief Games for Groups #3: Liar, Liar

Here we have each person in the group making three or four comments about themselves. Some of the comments should be true and some should be false, its up to the rest of the group to decide which are true and which are false.

Stress Relief Games for Groups #4: Gossip

This one’s especially great for groups that have to go on to develop a serious sense of communication but you do need at least 10 people for it to be most effective. The maximum for this game is 20. so bear these details in mind if you plan to use it.

The idea is that the leader begins by whispering a long sentence to the person on his right. That person passes the message onto the person to her right and so the message goes around the group.

Its amazing how the message will turn out as it gets passed on. This game will demonstrate just how informal communication gets changed form its original idea into something that never happened. It’ll stress the need to write down important notes as the need arises. We cannot always rely on word of mouth alone.

Stress Relief Games for Groups #5: Ethics

This game works well for a small group of adults who know each other who love to discuss/argue issues and don’t get offended easily. The leader starts the game by turning to a random group member and presenting an ethical dilemma. For instance, “If you knew someone was going to kill your worst enemy, would you try to warn him?” The person answers the question and explains his or her rationale. Then the group votes on whether or not they believe the person would really act as they said they would. If the majority of participants think the person is lying, he or she is out of the game. If the majority thinks he/she is telling the truth, that person picks another “victim” and poses another ethical dilemma. Last player left is the winner.